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Thursday, August 8, 2013

Why Do Beer Companies Continually Take Us For Comatose Morons?


   Yeah, I too am jazzed that the Rangers have totally vanquished that seemingly scary 6-game deficit in the AL West in a short, sweet 10 days. But there are more important issues at hand ... Beer fraud.
   I like beer.
   But I can't stand beer commercials.
   They're filled with unfathomably fit bodies supposedly drinking countless coldies, animals who actually behave and are cute in doing so, guys constantly getting hit in the crotch by something or other, and - my biggest pet peeve - lazy-ass mistakes that convey beer companies believe us consumers have zero intelligence and even less attention to detail.
   I just know Corona's latest "Hot Sand" commercial cost six-figures to produce. And it's them extending their hand to us. Trust, and enjoy our product. So you'd think the beer company would take a minute or two during final editing to make sure it came out just right. Or at least believable. Right?

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  1. I'm halfway with you.
    #1 I love beer
    #2 some beer commercials are funny
    #3 Beer commercials don't belong on beaches. I'm hazarding a guess that 85% of people that drink Corona don't look anything like anyone on this beach.
    #4 They're about to drink their coronoas without pushing the limes down....what the what?

    Now about hot sand...took the kids down to San Antonio last weekend. Did Sea World and their water park, Aquatica. At about 4pm when it was 103 degrees, the cement walkways and more importantly, the sand on their beaches, I'm pretty sure were almost hot enough to cook an egg. I escaped sun burn to only be burned on the ever so tender bottoms of my feet. F you hot sand.

    1. Same here about SeaWorld, and Fiesta Texas. We made the grave mistake of taking our shoes off to put them in the locker. Ouch. Only to find out, the tiles on the ground protecting the concrete were HOTTER than the actual concrete.

      Fast forward 2 hours later, we had "borrowed" some kids' lifejackets from the bin and McGuyver'd ourselves each a pair of shoes. After waddling down the stairs, I looked up as countless others were doing the same thing.

      My feet have never been on fire as much as that day. Sand or concrete in 105 degrees.

  2. "lazy-ass mistakes that convey beer companies believe us consumers have zero intelligence and even less attention to detail."

    You drink their shitty beer so they actually are hitting the nail right on the head.