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Thursday, August 29, 2013

"Glory Hole" + "Secret Sauce" = Cowboys' Bitter Disappointment or, Finally, a Happy Meal?

   Two all-beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions – on a sesame-seed bun.
   The year was 1974 and as an impressionable 10-year-old punk I was wide-eyed about fast-food in general and McDonald’s new hamburger in specific. It was a double-decker delight. And it was trumpeted into our lives with the coolest, catchiest theme song on TV. (No, we hadn't yet invented a DVR to skip the ads.)
   Had to have the special sauce. The special sauce made the Big Mac. Everyone in every home on every sandwich attempted to duplicate the special, secret sauce. And now, just like that, the Cowboys have the secret sauce?
   Indeed, at least according to team vice president Stephen Jones, honing his quirky hyperbole in preparation for sooner-than-later filling Dad’s shoes.
   “Obviously we feel like we have a great organization in the Cowboys but we can always be better,” he said. “We look for ways to be better. We do that both on the field and off the field. We’re convinced we’ve got the ‘secret sauce’ to put this thing back together again and win championships.”
   Wait, what the what?!

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27 comments:

  1. I do not see the hyperbole in his statement. An allusion I believe is a more accurate description. I also believe that Steven Jones is accurate. The Cowboys more than any team in football has the "secret sauce." They have cache', they have a spectacular fan base, and the most important ingredient of all....money. I look at my team, the Raiders, and they have lost the recipe. Feel good Cowboy fans, you have a fun season to enjoy, I don't...ugh! Bill2455

    ReplyDelete
  2. Funny how you and Greggo both misidentified the literary device and called it hyperbole when discussing this subject. Seems you are coequals when it comes to commentary. Still tied at the hip like two old oxen.

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    Replies
    1. Still yoked together. Tied to the hip does not make sense.

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