PSST ... OVER HERE!

In case you wanna read my cover stories for your free, friendly Dallas Observer, I'll make it easy:

   2018

   *FEB 28 - The sad saga of former DFW media star Wally Lynn

   *APRIL 3 - Why is the NFL is scared of this quirky Dallas entrepreneur?

   *MAY 8 - Dirk Nowitzki is DFW's Undisputed GOAT

   *JULY 3 - Former Cowboys' QB Babe Laufenberg helps son beat the odds ... and cancer.

   *AUG 7 - Missing Linc: Foggy Life after Football for former Cowboy Lincoln Coleman

   *SEP 19 - Jay Novacek's Son Struggles With a Diminished Life After OU Hazing

   *NOV 7 - Cynt of a Woman: New Mavs' CEO Cynthia Marshall cleans up a dirty mess

   2019

   *FEB 19 - RoughRiders on verge of being swallowed whole by Frisco's suburban sports swell

   *MAR 27 - Good Guy Elvis Andrus and the Bad Texas Rangers

   *MAY 7 - No Arms. No Legs. No Problem. Rick Turner and DFW's Bravest Soldiers

TONY ROMO: GOODBYE COWBOYS; HELLO RING OF HONOR

 

   Tony Romo leaves the Cowboys and the NFL today.
   But even in retirement, we'll see him soon as a TV analyst. And see him - eternally - in the Ring of Honor.
   No, this isn't even up for debate. No. 9, who announced his intentions to officially retire this morning, is statistically the greatest Cowboys' quarterback of all-time. And despite only two playoff wins and never a sniff of a Super Bowl over 10+ seaons, he'll deservedly reside forever inside AT&T Stadium alongside Roger Staubach, Troy Aikman and Don Meredith.
   As confounding and frustrating and polarizing as his career was, Romo's path to immortality is likewise peculiar. As in, there are 21 members of the Ring of Honor. Romo will be only the third - joining Meredith and Don Perkins - with no ties to a championship.
   But since Meredith got in, Romo's a slam dunk.
   Dandy Don won exactly one playoff game as Dallas' quarterback in the '60s. He completed only 50% of his career passes, threw for half as many yards as Romo, won merely 47 games and lost consecutive NFL Championship Games to the Packers, including the Ice Bowl.
   Romo leaves town holding the franchise passing records for yards, touchdowns and career 300-yard games. He has a Top 5 all-time passer rating. A 78-49 record. 4 Pro Bowls.
   And a legacy as one of the best all-time NFL quarterbacks to never reach a conference championship game, much less a Super Bowl. Romo has his stubborn, irrational critics, but he messed around and had a career that parallels a guy named Y.A. Tittle.
   In six fewer seasons, in fact, Romo won the same number of games, threw for 1,100 more yards, six more touchdowns and 131 fewer interceptions than the legendary 49ers' and Giants' quarterback. Tittle made three more Pro Bowls than Romo, but never won a single playoff game, going 0-4.
   Tittle's bust resides in Canton. Romo's helmet is likely headed for Denver, before retiring in glory in Arlington.
   I didn't exactly have high hopes that night in October 2006 when Bill Parcells yanked Drew Bledsoe in favor of an undrafted, untested Romo. But there's a special place in my heart for him now.
   Just as there is reserved a spot for him in the Ring of Honor, and on the list of greatest NFL quarterbacks to never achieve great team success.

   10 BEST NFL QUARTERBACKS TO NEVER REACH THE SUPER BOWL

   10. Dave Krieg - 19 seasons, lost only AFC Championship Game in '83.
     9. Sonny Jurgensen - Hall-of-Famer never even started a playoff game.

     8. Tony Romo - 4 Pro Bowls. Top 5 passer rating. 78 wins. 0 NFC Championship Games.

     7. Randall Cunningham - 4 Pro Bowls, lost only NFC Championship Game in '98.
     6. Philip Rivers - 5 Pro Bowls, lost only AFC Championship Game in '08.
     5. Bernie Kosar - 3 straight AFC Championship Game losses with Browns.
     4. John Brodie - '70 NFL MVP went 0-2 in NFC Championship Games.
     3. Y.A. Tittle - 32,000 yards. 242 TDs. 7 Pro Bowls. HOF. 0-4 in playoffs.
     2. Warren Moon - 9 Pro Bowls. 5 Grey Cups. HOF. 0 AFC Championship Games.
     1. Dan Fouts - Hall-of-Famer went 0-2 in AFC Championship Games in '80-81.

WHITT'S END: 2.10.14

      Whether you're at the end of your coffee, your day, your week or even your rope, welcome to Whitt's End:

   *Tighten up your Bible Belt, because here comes more progress. Right, NFL? ...

   *The most overrated award in all of sports is the ...

   *Psst, there's a miracle happening at Moody ...

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WHITT'S END: 1.31.14

      Whether you're at the end of your coffee, your day, your week or even your rope, welcome to Whitt's End:

   *Where does Michael Young rank on the list of all-time greatest Rangers? ...

   *Another sappy Super Bowl commercial that makes zero sense and a ton of dollars ...

   *Something we were shocked to see none of in Australia was ...

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BEST OF: Straight Talk 11.2.1998

   Just because Sybil and I are out frolicking in the South Pacific, couldn't leave you guys hanging. So while I'm gone let's do what the syndicated radio shows do. Yeah, a little "best of ..."
   I'll post some of my favorite stories from the past and before you know it I'll be back live and in living color with tales from abroad.
   Thanks again for your patronage, your patience and your understanding of my honeymoon sabbatical.

STRAIGHT TALK
By Richie Whitt
Fort Worth Star-Telegram
November 2, 1998

   Once and for all, allow Troy Aikman to set the record ... straight.

   "I've heard the stuff about me supposedly being gay, and it's tough to take," he says of the inaccurate-yet-persistent rumors recycling in Metroplex comedy clubs and office cubicles. "It bothers me not only because it's not true, but it also goes against my beliefs. You'd like to have a thick skin and let it roll off you, but it's hurtful. I hate to have to

defend myself on something like that, but it's just plain wrong."

   With his heterosexuality secure and his collarbone all but healed, the

Cowboys' silver-and-blue-chip quarterback makes his prime-time return

tonight as confident and as appreciative as ever about his life, love and

longevity ...

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WHITT'S END: 1.10.14

      Whether you're at the end of your coffee, your day, your week or even your rope, welcome to Whitt's End:

   *Details of where I'm headed and predictions on what our world will look like when I get back ...

   *The most dangerous voice on TV is ...

   *Our weirdest three-letter name is ...

   *A story you almost never read about a local team ...

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WHITT'S END: 1.8.14

      Whether you're at the end of your coffee, your day, your week or even your rope, welcome to Whitt's End:

   *Why expanding the NFL playoffs is a horrible idea ...

   *Jason Garrett is getting off-season tips from ...

   *Johnny Goofball ain't coming to ...

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WHITT'S END: 1.6.14

      Whether you're at the end of your coffee, your day, your week or even your rope, welcome to Whitt's End:

   *Good teams beat good stories, and other reasons Florida State will destroy Auburn ...

   *Wait, Tony Romo watched Saints-Eagles where ... ?

   *The worst NFL analyst, by far, is ...

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WHITT'S END: 1.3.14

      Whether you're at the end of your coffee, your day, your week or even your rope, welcome to Whitt's End:

   *Turns out DFW sports fans are tougher than Packers fans, because ...

   *The truth behind why Jason Garrett wasn't fired ...

   *The Arlington restaurant that sucked, and why it will get my business again ...

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WHITT'S END: 12.12.13

      Whether you're at the end of your coffee, your day, your week or even your rope, welcome to Whitt's End:

   *Let's go back to August. The Cowboys are preparing for their season when the ghost of football future (there is such a dude, right?) appears with this offer: Tony Romo will play so well that he throws 20 more touchdowns than interceptions (27-7) and to win the NFC East in 2013 your team gets to face five consecutive backup quarterbacks down the stretch. But if they don't beat them and make the playoffs, I take away your DVRs. Forever. We'd have taken that deal, right? Because, sure enough, look at who the Cowboys will face in the season's final five weeks: Quarterbacks who are injury replacements or who started the season as afterthought second- or even third-stringers. Matt McGloin (Raiders), Josh McCown (Bears), Matt Flynn (Packers), Kirk Cousins (Redskins) and Nick Foles (Eagles). There's a decent chance none of those teams make the playoffs. You can't say it wasn't all laid out lovingly and invitingly before the Cowboys. And, yes, if Tony Romo can't beat four of those five quarterbacks in this stretch then ... gulp.

   *You Betcha Week 16: For the year I'm now up $3,985. This week I'm going with ...

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WHITT'S END: 12.10.13

      Whether you're at the end of your coffee, your day, your week or even your rope, welcome to Whitt's End:

   *This is the kind of season it's been for your Cowboys. In games in which the defense has managed to "hold" opponents under 44 points, they're 7-3. That means of course that, yep, the Cowboys - for the first time in franchise history - have surrendered 45+ points three times in a single season. But, okay, tell me one more time that it's all Tony Romo's fault.

   *Not sure what's going on over at The Ticket, but ...

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WHITT'S END: 12.9.13

      Whether you're at the end of your coffee, your day, your week or even your rope, welcome to Whitt's End:

   *Craziest day we've seen in the NFL in a looooong time on Sunday afternoon. Not only did the Eagles and Lions stimulate us visually by playing in six inches of snow ...

   *Let's get something straight as we head down the stretch in the NFL: Teams control their destination, not their destiny ...

   *Okay, I admit, I was wrong. About ...

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WHITT'S END: 12.3.13

      Whether you're at the end of your coffee, your day, your week or even your rope, welcome to Whitt's End:

   *And in the AL West the beat goes on. The Rangers steal headlines with the "blockbuster!" acquisition of Prince Fielder, a guy who will hit homers and set off fireworks and increase attendance and ... The two-time defending division champion A's, meanwhile, quietly acquire Scott Kazmir and Jim Johnson, two arms that will bolster even further their philosophy of pitching, pitching and more pitching. Johnson has 101 saves the last two seasons, most in MLB. Kazmir has re-discovered his fastball at the ripe old age of 29. While the Rangers said goodbye to catcher A.J. Pierzynski, who signed with the Red Sox, the A's will enter '14 without Grant Balfour and Bartolo Colon on their roster. Imagine your team believing it can upgrade from an All-Star closer who converted 44 consecutive saves and an 18-game winner? Knowing the A's, they just got better.

   *It's radio ratings you want? It's radio ratings you'll get. November's numbers/analysis will be right here tomorrow. In a specially-wrapped package. Sort of. You'll see. Stay tuned.

   *After last night's scary dismantling of the Saints, no doubt the NFC's road to the Super Bowl goes through wet and dreary Seattle. The Seahawks have won 14 straight at home, 8 of those by 20+ points. Russell Wilson is playing at an elite level and they've got physically intimidating athletes all over the defense. That said, they are a very easy team to hate. Earl Thomas gets up and plays a fake banjo after making a hard hit at the end of an 8-yard run. We've mentioned the 8 players suspended for drug use since '11. And then there's Pete Carroll, the most annoyingly arrogant coach in the NFL. Never instructing, he instead spends the game merely reacting. Everyone saw the lucky bounce that turned into a touchdown last night. Clear score, no questions. But as the ref explained the score after reviewing it, Carroll ripped off his headset, leaned dramatically forward and squinted, as if he really, really needed this information. And when the ref signaled what we all already knew - touchdown - Carroll pumped his fist wildly like he was the last one to know. Carroll is the cocky, gum-chomping friend you stopped inviting to parties years ago. Please join me in rooting against him. And, failure Jesus, get loose in the bullpen.

   *The crowd roar in Seattle reminded me of a time not that long ago when the NFL had a rule in place that was as weird as allowing smoking on airplanes. Once upon a time, as recently as the '90s, home teams could be penalized for too much crowd noise. Proof.

   *The Cowboys' best player this season? He's over at NBC 5's Blue Star Blog, waiting for your recognition and approval.

   *Icepocalypse II! After last week's swing-and-miss on the "Arctic Blast" that turned out to be merely cold sprinkles, our weatherfolks are at it again. Freezing rain! Snow! "Hard freeze" as soon as Wednesday night. In other words, find your light jacket and keep the umbrella handy. As for the snow chains? Fool us twice, shame on us. Swear I heard this from Fox4's Jennifer Myers on "Good Day" this morning: "This is going to be a big event ... I cannot stress enough, Thursday into Friday follow us until the event, because things could change." The Cowboys will beat the Bears. This is going to be a big event. But I cannot stress this enough, Monday night watch the game, because things could change.

   *Hot.

   *Not.

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   *Remember way back when Aggies were on pins and needles at the possible autograph suspension of Johnny Manziel? Without him, their season - projected as a Top 7 team with BCS potential - was doomed. With him, their season - 8-4 and headed to the Taxslayer.com Bowl? - was a dud.

   *I'm hearing some buzz over the new indoor skydiving joint in Frisco, iFly. Obviously there are advantages, as in a decreased chance of death compared to real skydiving. And obviously there are drawbacks, as in a decreased chance of death compared to real skydiving. I mean, for me the thrill of skydiving was the unknown, the risk and the adrenalin rush of voluntarily thrusting your life into momentary limbo. iFly looks fun and all, but it'd be like running a marathon ... on an indoor treadmill. Just not the same.

   *I've probably already seen Auburn's field-goal return for a game-winning touchdown 50 times. I can't look away. Probably because I've never seen a play like that before, and might not see one ever again.

   *You know why girls in boots make us do a double-take? Because girls in boots want us to do a double-take. It's the simple law of supply and demand.

   *Good times for the Great Northwest. Seahawks are monsters. And the Portland Trailblazers are legit. They're 15-3 with wins over the Spurs and the Pacers. LaMarcus Aldridge put up 28-10 last night as Portland gave Indiana only its second loss of the season. How the heck - given Aldridge and NBAers Daniel Gibson and P.J. Tucker - did Rick Barnes not coach the '06 Longhorns past the NCAA Regional Finals?

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   *Psst, hey buddy, wanna buy a watch Coke fridge? We have this perfectly fine Coke box that we purchased for the lobby of Pizza Buzz, then Pepsi comes to us with a bigger, new, free one. Alas, we're now Coke dealers. Anyone interested, make us an offer. Richie@PizzaBuzz.com.

   *Actually heard this from Cris Carter on ESPN's NFL pre-game show last Sunday: "It's not a must win, Boom, but they need to win." If I ever write or utter anything that hollow, feel free to leave and never come back.

   *Aaron Rodgers will have his broken collarbone re-examined today. If it's not fully healed, the reeling Packers might just shut him down for the season. In other words, the Cowboys will play their Dec. 15 game against the Packers today in some doctor's office in Wisconsin.

   *Speaking of Pizza Buzz, we exceeded our November projections so things are off and running. I'll scale back the bidness promotion because by now you know what we do (deliver hot pizza and cold beer) and you know where to find us (817-849-2211/pizzabuzz.com). As we eye stores 2-3-4 in 2014 there are investment/partnership opportunities available. Again, email me at Richie@PizzaBuzz.com if interested.

   *Today? Might jump on the bike with Sybil, as this may be one of our last 70-degree days for a long time. Tonight it's Mavs-Bobcats. Don't be a stranger.

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WHITT'S END: 11.22.13

      Whether you're at the end of your coffee, your day, your week or even your rope, welcome to Whitt's End:

   *Jerry Jones announcing that head coach Jason Garrett will be back in 2014 should surprise no one. Nor should anyone be shocked if he changes his mind. If you don't think the headline-grabbing pronouncement was a planned counter-punch to the Rangers' signing of Prince Fielder, then you don't know Jerry Jones. But before you start making reservations to meet Garrett in Oxnard next summer, just remember that once upon a time - known as 2010 - Jerry claimed that Wade Phillips' job was safe because "I've never changed coaches in the middle of a season, and I never will change coaches in the middle of a season." Two weeks later Phillips was fired. Despite Jerry's ploy on Thursday, Garrett's job should be - and is - on the line in this season's final six weeks.

   *How good has Monta Ellis been for the Mavericks? He's already the best free-agent signing in the Mark Cuban era. In the last three seasons no Mav had a game of at least 32 points and 8 assists. He's done it twice in this season's first 12 games. Ellis and Dirk Nowitzki, by the way, are the NBA's third most prolific duo. I'll give you the details over at NBC 5's Sports Blog.

   *Using next year's "Football Four" college football playoff and this year's teams, we'd be looking at semifinals of Baylor-Alabama in the Rose Bowl and Florida State-Ohio State in the Sugar Bowl, with the winners meeting at AT&T Stadium. Deliciously fake.

   *During a break from watching Sybil emcee an award-winning "What's In Your Pocket?" scavenger hunt at Blue Martini last night, I sneaked a peek at Stars-Rangers. As you know I don't watch a lot of hockey. And I was reminded why. In a 60-minute game there were 63 face-offs. Imagine if there were that many jump-balls in an NBA game.

   *Some self-anointed experts - like somebody at NFL.com named Adam Schein - predicted a Texans-Falcons Super Bowl this season. Those teams are a combined 4-17. My picks: Broncos-Niners. Still doable.

   *As usual the weatherfolks over-exaggerated this "Arctic Blast!" Expecting to go outside in sub-freezing temps and dig the car out from under a foot of wintry mix, instead I awoke in McKinney to zero precipitation, cloudy and 38 degrees.

   *Lots of right-wingers trying to compare Obamacare to Hurricane Katrina as an "American tragedy." Katrina - and a certain President's slow response to it - killed 1,800 people and did $80 billion worth of damage. Obamacare is good intentions plagued by a bad website. Please stop.

   *Hot.

   *Not.

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   *Where was I 50 years ago today when JFK was assassinated? In the tummy of my mom, who was working in the downtown Dallas office of Blue Cross/Blue Shield insurance. Eight months later, in July 1964, I entered this world to someday be a pragmatic punk who simply believes Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone.

   *Wanna warm up on a chilly night? Cowboys Cheerleaders will autograph copies of their 2014 swimsuit calendar tonight 6-9 at the official launch party at the Gaylord Texan.

   *So let me get this straight, NFL. A player who celebrates a touchdown with an orchestrated dance on the ground is penalized 15 yards. But a player - like the Saints' Jimmy Graham last night - who celebrates a touchdown by hanging from the goal posts, yanking them crooked and delaying the game seven minutes while they're re-aligned isn't penalized at all? Yep, makes total sense.

   *As a snotty-nosed kid growing up in Duncanville I had a record player by my bed. Yep, an old-school "needle on the record" contraption that featured a turntable and vinyl. Two of my favorite 33s to fall asleep to: Johnny Cash Live at Folsom Prison and Bill Cosby I Started Out As A Child. Haven't listened to the Cosby record in probably 40 years, but when I pulled it up on YouTube this morning it's eerie how well I remembered it. Almost word-for-word. Our brains are weird, man. Wait, what was my point to all this? Oh yeah! I'm totally gonna watch the 76-year-old's new stand-up sit-down Far From Finished Saturday night at 7 on Comedy Central.

   *Fresno State and Northern Illinois are still undefeated. With four high-profile teams still yet to lose, those teams picked a bad year to have a good year.

   *Very cool that - in the wake of the founder's tragic death last summer - Kidd's Kids took a plane-load of children to Disney yesterday. Bravo!

   *Is it wrong that I take much delight in the demise of RG3 and the implosion of the Redskins? Good, because I do. I really, really do.

   *Crap we've invented but totally don't need in our cars: "Paddle shifters" and "Start/Stop technology." I've got the latter in my car and it works like this: Every time my car comes to a complete stop it automatically turns off. To re-start you simply turn the wheel or take your foot off the brake. But I can't imagine it's good for my engine and I'm 100% sure that it's completely annoying. Fortunately we've also got buttons to switch off these features. Carry on.

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   *Sports Illustrated says A.J. McCarron is "one of the best ever." Hard to argue against that, considering the Alabama quarterback has as many National Championships as losses. That's right, two each. I look at McCarron kinda like I did Duke's Christian Laettner. A great college player in the captain's chair of the peak of an epic dynasty, but whose talent won't translate to much of nothing as a pro.

  *Monta to the Mavs. Fielder to the Rangers. When's the last time the Cowboys made such a buzz with an acquisition? Maybe Brandon Carr in '12. Definitely Terrell  Owens in '06. I look into at NBC 5's Blue Star Blog.

   *You Betcha Week 13: Okay, back in the game. The Broncos' expected double-digit win over the Chiefs boosted our confidence and padded our account with a cool $3,000. There's hope for a profitable season yet. Most confusing outcome of the season is Oklahoma State losing at West Virginia. The Cowboys have plowed through Tech and Texas in recent weeks. They're playing at home, in a game that will likely feature wind and cold and precipitation. When I looked for the line on this game I expected it to be Baylor by a field goal or perhaps closer. I love Baylor. I think they'll win this game. But by 10 points? A 9-1 team playing at  home for a conference championship and getting 10 points is too good to pass up.
STARTING BANKROLL: $10,000

CURRENT BANKROLL: $7,825

SEASON RECORD: 5-7

LAST WEEK: 1-0

THIS WEEK: Oklahoma State plus +10 for $2,500.

   *He might have carried an arrogance to the wrong place at the wrong time, but Freddie Roach is a legendary boxing trainer suffering from Parkinson's disease. If you kick him and make fun of him, you're a weak, bad person who deserves zero respect. I'm talking to you, Alex Ariza.

   *Since hanging 49 points on the Cowboys, the Saints have mustered only 40 in their last two games.

   *Get this question a lot re: Pizza Buzz: "Why don't ya'll deliver to (fill in the Metroplex city)?" Well, as of today, we do! On orders of $200+ we'll deliver to anywhere in D/FW, from Denton to Duncanville to White Rock Lake to White Settlement. So keep us in mind for your Holiday parties, etc. Enjoy!

   *This exchange actually happened last night on our drive home at 11:37 p.m. Me: "Let's go to Whataburger!" Sybil: "No, but at home I've got some squash!!" Me: "What. The. What?!" We passed Whataburger, but I also passed on the squash. Call it a tie?

   *I don't like a lot of NFL analysts, but I love the retiring Dan Dierdorf. Much as I hated him as a member of the St. Louis Cardinals' nasty offensive line in the '70s - they were members of the NFC East back then - I like listening to him break down NFL games. He will be missed.

   *This weekend? Great for indoor activity. Today let's catch a couple movies - Hunger Games and Delivery Man. Tomorrow's time, grudgingly, to put up the Christmas tree. And Sunday, of course, is Cowboys-Giants. Don't be a stranger.

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WHITT'S END: 11.20.13

      Whether you're at the end of your coffee, your day, your week or even your rope, welcome to Whitt's End:

   *Talked to a Cowboys' source last night and the topic got around to the offensive struggles. Me: "So, ya'll get it fixed during the bye week?" Source: "Yep." Me: "And ... ?" Source: "Get the ball to Dez." Me: "It's really that simple isn't it?" Source: "Yep." I'll be shocked Sunday in New York if Dez Bryant doesn't get 12+ touches. Deep balls. Quick hitches. Even a reverse. Or course it'll work, and the Cowboys will win. And afterward it'll be all palm-to-the-forehead-why-didn't-we-think-of-this-before? But some of us did. Right?

   *As if you didn't know before, you do know: The Rangers' nucleus you thought would win a World Series has officially missed its window. With the news last night that free-agent David Murphy is leaving Texas for the Indians, the Rangers' foundation cracked a little more. In its prime, the hub of Murphy and Michael Young and Josh Hamilton and Nolan Ryan were one infamous non-catch in right field away. Now? They may win, but it won't be with the players that Jon Daniels initially envisioned when the whole rebuilding process began in 2007. Briefly did a radio show with Murphy on 105.3 The Fan in '11. Great guy. Bad loss. The Rangers may be a better team in 2014. But they won't have a better clubhouse.

   *If the Cowboys are going to seriously threaten making the playoffs, one player above all others has to raise his game. Right now. Who that be? I give the answer over at NBC 5's Blue Star Blog.

   *Brother, can you spare a dime Bitcoin? Wait, a what? A Bitcoin. Maybe I'm the last fool on my block to catch on to the craze, but to me Bitcoin sounds like a fake form of currency created by a fake person for use in a fake world. Like the form of "money" Neo would've used in The Matrix. Why does it sound like that? Because that's exactly what it is. Ready to be totally bewildered? Brush up on Bitcoin.

   *I'm sure we'll boo Dwight Howard when his Rockets visit American Airlines Center tonight. After all, he did spurn the Mavs' recruiting last summer and sign with hated Houston. But the Mavs did okay for themselves. Monta Ellis is giving Dallas a totally different dimension on offense. And, don't look now, but turns out consolation center Samuel Dalembert has more than a little left in the tank. Mavs attempting to start 6-0 at home for the first time since the '08 season.

   *I'm already tired of the JFK reflections and we're still two days away from the 50th anniversary. I think I hate it all because we - Dallas - get blamed for shooting Kennedy. But New York didn't kill John Lennon. And Washington, D.C. didn't kill Abraham Lincoln. Why did Dallas kill JFK?

   *Hot. (Adam Levin's fiancee).

   *Not (Adam Levine).

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   *Good White Truck Wednesday: A guy pulled up to Pizza Buzz on Monday night in a ... (Gigantic) White Truck. Bad White Truck Wednesday: Driver crashes through front window of a store in a ... White Truck. And a woman dragged to her death behind a ... White Truck.

   *During their four-game winning streak, the Giants' defense has seven interceptions while allowing zero touchdown passes. That was accomplished against inferior, backup quarterbacks shoved into starting roles. Tony Romo throws for at least one Sunday.

   *If you like Fall and cold weather and scarves and froth and anything remotely "Pumpkin spice," well, then we probably put our relationship on hold until March.

   *Mentioned on Monday the pivotal play made for the Steelers by former Cowboys' safety Will Allen. Now he goes on satellite radio and rips Dallas as too "micro-managed" and "tight." But, wait, if he's saying the Cowboys are too tense, what do you make of Jimmy Johnson saying last year they were too loose in a "country club" atmosphere. Can't be both.

   *Guy goes 189 mph on a motorcycle, outruns cops, then voluntarily pulls over and ... gets tackled.

   *Couple questions about Adam Levine being named People's Sexiest Man Alive for 2013. 1. Will they follow up with a Sexiest Man Not Alive for 2013? I mean, isn't the "Alive" part kinda understood? 2. A year ago the mag named Channing Tatum Sexiest Man Alive and in '11 it was Bradley Cooper. Did they give up and grow a pot belly or what? Weird (wink) how there's never a repeat champion in this sport.

   *You guys know where I recommend for pizza/beer, but if you're in the mood for Texas barbecue no place beats 3 Stacks in Frisco. Their "Firecrackers" - brisket-stuffed jalapenos, wrapped in bacon - are simply addictive. I had six of 'em last night. Wish I had six more for breakfast.

   *Today? Get outside and do something before the ol' Blue Norther rolls in on Friday. Tonight of course is Sybil's weekly Boots & Babes party at Blue Martini, wrapped around Mavs-Rockets. Don't be a stranger.

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WHITT'S END: 11.19.13

      Whether you're at the end of your coffee, your day, your week or even your rope, welcome to Whitt's End:

   *Man, I can't wait for these replacement refs to leave and we can get the real ... oh, right. The zebras blew it big time last night on Monday Night Football. Patriots' tight end Rob Gronkowski was bear-hugged in the end zone by Panthers' linebacker Luke Kuechly. That's a penalty. Only question was whether it was holding or pass interference, but the excuse of "uncatchable" isn't applicable. At the very least it was holding, even if the ball was thrown to the corner of the end zone. And, seeing that the receiver was physically impeded from going after the ball, it was pass interference. A textbook case. If that's not pass interference, I don't think it exists. Patriots got ripped off. Now let's all read referee Clete Blakeman's explanation of why the flag was picked up and have our football brains simultaneously combust. What. The. What?!:

There were two officials that came in. One was the umpire and the other one was our side judge and there was a discussion at that point as to the, in essence, the catchability of the ball due to its location. So it was determined at that point in time that when the primary contact occurred on the tight end that the ball, in essence, was coming in underthrown and in essence it was immediate at that point intercepted at the front end of the end zone. So there was a determination that, in essence, uncatchability, that the ball was intercepted at or about the same time the primary contact against the receiver occurred.

   *Horrible weekend for the referees, considering the personal-foul penalty on Ahmad Brooks for his shoulder-neck hit on Drew Brees also cost the 49ers a victory in New Orleans. Some day, some way, we'll eliminate the sacred "human element" out of officiating in all sports. And sports will be a better place.

   *For all you haters convinced Tony Romo is the biggest choker in the NFL, the last two days with Robert Griffin III and Tom Brady prove that bad decisions and horrible throws happen to the best quarterbacks at the worst times.

   *Monta Ellis, take a bow. And, while you're at it, a couple more shots. He was dazzling in the Mavs' ugly win over the Sixers. More importantly, he was efficient. 24 points and 10 assists, on only 14 shots. So far, so great on Dallas' off-season acquisition.

   *Bullying is real. In middle school we had a guy who would walk up to your desk and snap your pencil in half, just to see if you'd react. And my step-son had a couple run-ins with a classmate who would demand his lunch money, or else. But aren't the once-per-week stories of bullying in sports starting to wear thin? I'm prepared to morph into my grandparents and anoint this "video game generation" as a bunch of whiny crybabies. Sorry, in life you have to get off the couch. There is no pause button. There are no secret weapons at your fingertips. And, no, you can't simply erase your mistakes or change your environment with the tap of a re-set button. It's life. A coach might grab your facemask. A boss might dog-cuss you. And, yes, a co-worker might cause you to lose your job. You can bitch and moan, or you can learn and move on. Funny thing is, doesn't every generation think the one after it is soft? And, aren't they all correct?

   *Tell me this is real. Because I want to believe this is real. Either way, I'm closer to being in the holiday spirit.

   *Hot.

   *Not.

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   *Baylor's fantastic cornerback K.J. Morton has the longest hair of any football player I've ever seen. And we knew this would happen sooner or later with all these Barbaric tough guys playing a violent sport wearing wigs: A player got his extensions ripped out. Cardinals' running back Andre Ellington says he'll "get it stitch back in." If that's the case, why are team officials claiming it's his "real hair"?

   *I don't care if you haven't won a Big 12 game in forever, Kansas fans storming the field and tearing down the goal posts after beating 4-6 West Virginia is embarrassing.

   *If you're looking for a different kind of movie set in Budapest Bucharest and laced with both cringe-worthy violence and a clever plot, I suggest Charlie Countryman. You're welcome.

   *When this guy sees himself being surrounded in the park by squirrels, why doesn't he A) Ask for a little help; B) Begin running ... or anything but stand there? No sympathy for that fool.

   *Today? I believe I'll watch my alma mater upset play Kentucky tonight. UTA vs. Julius Randle at 6:30. Don't be a stranger.

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WHITT'S END: 11.18.13

      Whether you're at the end of your coffee, your day, your week or even your rope, welcome to Whitt's End:

   *This morning the Cowboys woke up for the first time this season without at least a share of first place in the NFC East. Still think they'll play in their third consecutive NFC East Championship Game, this year's version on Dec. 29 against the Eagles at AT&T Stadium. The Giants? I know they've won four in a row, but the string of quarterbacks they've faced? Josh Freeman (Vikings), Matt Barkley (Eagles), Terrelle Pryor (Raiders) and Scott Tolzien (Packers). Not convinced they're making some magical run.

   *Mavs lost an entertaining, close game to the Heat Friday night, making it five straight losses to Miami since Game 6 of the NBA Finals. They'll also go at least 1,000 days between playoff-game wins since their title triumph on June 12, 2011.

   *Yep, that familiar voice in an unfamiliar place Saturday afternoon was Mark Elfenbein on 103.3 FM ESPN. Nothing concrete or long-term yet, but my good friend Elf will start doing weekends, fill-ins and holidays. With previous tours at The Ticket and The Fan, he's now hit for the Metroplex radio cycle.

   *The San Francisco Bat Kid will restore your hope in this cold, cruel world. Well done, 5-year-old cancer survivor Miles Scott. Bravo, Make-a-Wish. And kudos to the 13,000 "volunteers" who showed up to make that the best goose-bumpy moment of 2013.

   *Was watching footballs college and pro over the weekend and had this thought: Why are there no black kickers? Before you spout off "Reggie Roby!", I'm talking kickers, place-kickers, the guys you don't see most of the game who then trot out and decide outcomes in the final seconds. Kickers. Couldn't name any. Not one. I was sure I was missing at least a couple. But, actually, there've only been four in the history of the NFL. Explanation, please?

   *Hot (Raquel Welch, age 73).

   *Not (Everybody else, age 73).

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   *Sometimes you go on TV, get involved in a discussion and make a weird face. Despite my grimacesmirksmilefrown, I enjoyed (won?) the debate with NBC 5's Pat Doney and David Watkins.

   *Can't believe it's already been 14 years since the A&M bonfire tragedy. 12 Aggies died in that fire on Nov. 18, 1999.

   *Sounds like a Disney movie, but it's real. Grinnell College's (sounds made-up) Jack Taylor (sooo fake) hit 24 3-pointers and scored 109 points (yeah, riiiiight) in a legit Division III college basketball game Sunday. Wouldn't believe a word of it ... had he not scored 138 in a game last season. Most amazing thing about yesterday's performance: The 5-foot-10 white guard only played 29 minutes.

   *Yes, Cowboys fans, that was Will Allen making a key interception for Pittsburgh in yesterday's victory over the Lions. He started the first two games for Dallas and then ... sorry, you can't convince me he's not better than Jeff Heath.

   *A male lion killed a female lion Sunday at the Dallas zoo. And we're supposed to be surprised. To me there's always been something really wrong about animals in captivity. Apparently they agree.

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 *Worst thing I saw all weekend: Steelers' throwback uniforms.

   *Best thing I saw all weekend: Jenny Anchondo, Fiona Gorostiza, Sybil Summers, Monika Diaz, Susy Solis and Jasmine Sadry sitting at my dinner table.

   *Jimmie Johnson won his 6th NASCAR championship. I guess. Who knows? NASCAR's points system is so complicated not even the likes of Eddie Gossage can clearly explain it. Hard to be enthralled in the drama when you are clueless about the plot. Is Johnson the best driver? Maybe. But I still say in NASCAR the worst driver in the best car will beat the best driver in the worst car. For parity's sake, make Johnson drive for the last-place team next season and let's see just how magical he is.

   *If you, like me, root for the Cowboys and Longhorns it was a tough week. Outscored and embarrassed by a combined 87-30. But it could've been worse. Could be a fan of the Georgia Bulldogs. What an absolute kick to the crotch.

   *Today? Pizza Buzz by day, Sixers-Mavs and Patriots-Panthers by night. Don't be a stranger.

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WHITT'S END: 11.15.13

      Whether you're at the end of your coffee, your day, your week or even your rope, welcome to Whitt's End:

   *Nick Saban repeatedly says no way. Noted SEC blowhard Paul Feinbaum stakes his career on it not happening. But it's a persistent rumor with more lives than Freddy Krueger: Nick Saban to Texas. With a new AD in (Steve Patterson) and an old coach on the way out (Mack Brown), I'm giving it a 50.02% chance of happening.

   *It's not Jason Garrett. It's not Monte Kiffin. No, the most blame for the Cowboys' continued woes lies at the feet of bad talent evaluation. In other words, a lack of depth. It's why a couple injuries can totally fold their house of cards, leading to starting linebackers named Brady Poppinga and Ernie Sims and this year's revolving door of off-the-couch defensive lineman. How'd we get here? The Cowboys have one player left from the draft of '08 (Orlando Scandrick), no players from '09 and two from '10 (Dez Bryant and Sean Lee). That's right, of 24 draft picks only three remain on the roster. Welcome to mediocrity.

   *The Rangers' new "control person" is Ray Davis. Wait, shouldn't that be Yu Darvish? Actually, in replacing the departed Nolan Ryan the Rangers' owner is merely the man accountable to Major League Baseball for club operation and compliance with rules, etc. To me, Davis looks like every CEO of every company.

   *Good news: Cowboys are 15-8 the week after a Bye. Bad news: They've never entered the Bye on this much of a downer. I've got the details over at NBC 5's Blue Star Blog.

   *Miller Lite has lost 20 percent of its volume sales over the last five years. I have a guess why: Horrible marketing. The beer is actually running a campaign flaunting its "punch-top can." Seriously. Do beer-drinkers - other than people interested in shotgunning 'em - give a rat's ass how their beer pours from the can? Glug or no glug? Are you kidding? To me, the consumer, that's a lame attempt at camouflaging the taste of your product and trying to distract me with the cool packaging of your product.

   *Props to Dez Bryant. He went to a Dallas Walmart to buy the new PlayStation 4 video console and wound up buying several of the $500 gifts for folks waiting in line.

   *Hot.

   *Not.

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   *What a bummer of a year it's been for women in Metroplex media. Losing/ leaving jobs in 2013: Jasmine Sadry, Sybil Summers, Jane Slater, Gina Miller and Emily Jones. Add two more to the list, as both Fiona Gorostiza and Monika Diaz announced their departures on Thursday. Diaz, a hard-nosed reporter for Channel 8 since '07, is returning home to Miami to help care for her stepfather who is suffering from a rare brain disorder. Fiona, a personal friend of DFWSportatorium, is voluntarily leaving Fox 4 after a five-year run as the weekend weatherwoman and the No. 1-rated Good Day's participatory reporter covering stories from sky-diving to dancing. On top of losing pretty faces, we've lost some experienced voices and solid reporters.

   *More bad media news: Almost 300 folks will lose their jobs early in 2014 when the Star-Telegram starts being printed at a plant owned by the Morning News. The days of the newspaper are numbered. The days of the newspaper war are long Dead 'n Gone.

   *In the midst of football's safety concerns and concussion findings, Pop Warner has seen a 10-percent decline in registration in the past year. Will we see a time in our lives without tackle football?

   *The '72 Dolphins will be popping champagne Sunday night after the Broncos beat this season's last undefeated team, the Chiefs. Wonder if the '08 Lions did the same when the Buccaneers won this week for their first victory? After all, it ensured that Rod Marinelli-coached squad of being the NFL's only 0-16 team.

   *The Cabrera vs. Trout debate would be so much more interesting if the season hadn't been over for a month. We're immersed in football and we've moved on to basketball. Like the NBA, wouldn't the MLB be better served to hand out its awards while its sport is relevant?

   *Sleep a little better tonight with the comfort that the monster known as Whitey Bulger is off the streets forever. Bulger is a former Boston mob boss found guilty of 11 killings, including the death of a father. Bulger called the man's home and told his 11-year-old son that Dad wouldn't be coming home for Christmas. When the son asked who he was, Bulger told him "Santa Claus." Bulger was a free fugitive for 16 years before being arrested in Santa Monica, Calif. Pure evil.

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   *It's Dallas' annual weird and wonderful weekend, otherwise known as Fetish Ball 2013. The two-day party starts tonight at Lizard Lounge with a pajama party. Love this event, as it brings out the Metroplex's fun bunch. People who have tons of character and zero inhibition. See you there, if you dare to be (almost) bare.

   *Mavs' most improved player this season? No doubt, it's Jae Crowder. So says the dork blogging about the Mavs at NBC 5.

   *Dallas is green again. No, not a new recycling project. The signature Bank of America building in the middle of downtown is outlined in a vibrant green after being dark since July due to renovation. The new LED lights, which replaced old Argon, can create 256 colors. Alongside The Omni Hotel's light show, Dallas is becoming a twinkling, colorful mini-Vegas.

   *Toronto mayor Rob Ford would be a hoot to cover on a daily basis. Crappy mayor. Ridiculous role model. But a blast to write about. In the wake of admitting he didn't remember smoking crack cocaine because it occurred in the middle of a drunken stupor, Ford now said on live TV that he didn't, in fact, eat another woman's pussy because he's happily married and "I've got more than enough to eat at home." Hilarious.

   *This weekend? Gonna get our freak fetish on tonight at Lizard Lounge. Saturday will be a splendid day for tennis. And Sunday night around 11 I'll analyze the day's NFL action and break down the Cowboys' stretch run on NBC 5. Don't be a stranger.

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