WHITT'S END: 2.27.14

      Whether you're at the end of your coffee, your day, your week or even your rope, welcome to Whitt's End:

   *Stop it, irrational dreamers, he ain't playing for the Cowboys ...

   *I'm apologizing to this player. For now ...

   *Will this guy be the best No. 84 in DFW sports history? ...

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WHITT'S END: 2.10.14

      Whether you're at the end of your coffee, your day, your week or even your rope, welcome to Whitt's End:

   *Tighten up your Bible Belt, because here comes more progress. Right, NFL? ...

   *The most overrated award in all of sports is the ...

   *Psst, there's a miracle happening at Moody ...

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WHITT'S END: 11.26.13

      Whether you're at the end of your coffee, your day, your week or even your rope, welcome to Whitt's End:

   *If nothing else, your Cowboys are the best team in ... America Texas. The Texans began the season 2-0 and are now 2-9. As for the best college team in the state? Still Baylor. Hey, that means our top two teams have each suffered demoralizing road losses of 49-17 this month. Cowboys to the Saints. Bears to Oklahoma State. Woe is football.

   *Mavs aren't quite there yet. Dominated last night on the boards and in quickness by the Denver Nuggets. First home loss of the season. Not a big deal. But their stubborn reliance upon Vince Carter is a big, bad deal. He was 3 of 13 Monday night, including 0 of 4 on 3-pointers. Every time he shoots a jumper, the Mavs' progress and future gets stunted a little more.

   *As sports - and life - reminds us time and again, it can be a short, swift ride from penthouse to outhouse. Right, Robert Griffin III? Or vice-versa. Right, guy-who-won-the-lottery-and-almost-invested-it-all-with-Bernie-Madoff-but-decided-against-it-at-the-last-minute?

   *From the Dept. of Life Ain't Fair: Derrick Rose is out for the season, again with a knee injury. His other knee. Tore the ACL in his left knee in 2012 and sat out the 2013 season. Now he tears a meniscus in his right knee, undergoes surgery and will miss the rest of 2014. He's one of my favorite players. The NBA is a better league with him in it. With two reconstructed knees, you have a sinking feeling he may never again be the player that won MVP in 2011.

   *There was a time when putting up Christmas lights got me in a festive mood. Put on the holiday music and perhaps don a Santa hat and merrily string lights. But these days I've got such a refined system it only takes an hour. Did it Saturday in the cold and rain - sans music - and, sadly, it just felt like a routine chore more than a scene-setting spirit-lifter. Man, getting old sucks.

   *The Reverend Billy Graham is one of the most righteous, holy, good people on this planet. He's been spreading the gospel for 70 years. But, at 95, the evangelist's health is finally fading. Spent two days in a North Carolina hospital last week with respiratory ailments. If I'm God, I miraculously heal Graham and restore his health to a man aged 25. Allow him to live to be 145, if not older. Then non-believers and/or fence-straddlers would say "Whoa, that's badass! I'm gonna live my life more like him!" Perhaps I'm paraphrasing, but you get the point. Graham's the perfect role model, but his chore of turning hearts, minds and souls toward God becomes a tad more difficult if he's not alive.

   *Hot.

   *Not.

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   *Doggoneit! Dead 'n Gone: One of the all-time great animated TV characters. Yep, just like that, poof. Without nary a warning, Family Guy killed off "Brian" last Sunday night. Struck down by a car during a street hockey game. Shocking, because we saw a million scenes in the show where a character suffered a traumatic injury that would normally end them. But in every case before Sunday, we left that scene with them bent and broken and bloody and then - ta-dah! - on to the next scene with them perfectly healthy watching TV on the couch. Nice twist. And now "Brian" is replaced by an Italian dog named "Vinny." While I'm sad at "Brian"'s departure, I'm also impressed that a successful show isn't afraid to voluntarily make a major change. Unless, of course, "Brian"'s contract was up and he was making unfathomable requests and simply had to be shown the doggie door. What a crazy idea, huh? To re-boot and freshen-up a show, you simply change one of the characters instead of simply canceling the entire show. Oh, what am I saying? Nobody in their right mind would kill a show instead of just one character. Right?

   *Bad week to be a Griffin, animated pooch or annihilated quarterback. Last night was the first time in 168 college and pro games that RG3's team didn't score a touchdown.

   *Another reason to hate Dwyane Wade. He's now got this jealous, look-at-me! bit where after games, he gets in the background of interviews and tries to steal the spotlight. Last night Heat TV was interviewing LeBron when Wade started doing cartwheels. Sad. Remember way back when his play garnered attention? (I know the whole team participates in the interviewing bombing, but Wade's are way more annoying.)

   *So how did Sybil spend her "Wintry mix" Monday? Shopping for wedding dresses online. We're getting hitched on the beach in Bora Bora seven weeks from today. Only decision remaining: How often will I blog during the honeymoon?

   *Not a bigger ego on this planet than Kanye West. Seriously, he thinks he's Jesus and Dr. J. and George Clooney and George Bailey all stuffed into one persona. His "move" from Nike to Adidas is supposed to be a thing? He doesn't play sports. Who gives a rat's ass what sports apparel he wears? Dez Bryant's choice? Yeah, interesting. Kanye's choice? Nope. But, of course, HE thinks it's a huge deal. Nike told him "no royalties" because he's not a professional athlete. Kanye's response: "I go to the Garden and go one on NO ONE. I'm a performance athlete." Yeah, and I'm a writing athlete. Where's my free shoes?!

   *You want Bad Santa? You got him. Mr. Claus was arrested and banned from a Massachusetts mall for groping an 18-year-old elf. Rumor is he tried to kiss her under the mistle-'ho. Or perhaps I just made that up.

   *Today? Love me some Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. Because we're all on the Island of Misfit Toys, right? But in the spirit of Christmas coming earlier each year, it debuts tonight on CBS. Before Thanksgiving even. Adjust your schedules accordingly Don't be a stranger.

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WHITT'S END: 11.4.13

      Whether you're at the end of your coffee, your day, your week or even your rope, welcome to Whitt's End:

   *Let me get this get straight: When Tony Romo throws a late-game interception against the Broncos he "always" chokes. But when he throws a late-game touchdown against the Vikings he's "lucky" he was playing a 1-7 opponent. Yep, seems like you're judging him on a totally fair and rational scale.

   *Cowboys 27, Vikings 23: My Top 10 Whitty Comments are over at NBC 5's Blue Star Blog.

   *A 30-year-old bullying a teammate? Threatening texts and racially charged voice mails? Where was all this drama in 2012 while we were all bored to death by Hard Knocks: Miami Dolphins? And, no, for those of you asking: Richie Cognito is not my nefarious alter ego. Yet.

   *Two of the worst words you can hear: "Let's talk." "It's flat." And, of course, "Fall Back." I love the NBA and I'm a kid at Christmas, but I'm always bummed this time of year by setting the clocks back an hour. We'll burn through the extra hour of sleep in a day or two, but the diminished daylight and looming cold weather will be here to stay for months. Can't wait until March 9, when we get to Spring Forward.

   *Hey, um, "baseball town", what gives? Last week's decisive Game 6 of the World Series drew only a 7.9 TV rating in Dallas-Fort Worth, ranking 38th out of the country's 56 metered markets. In Boston it earned a 55.5.

   *Hot.

   *Not.

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   *Had interesting chats with Tony Casillas and Chad Hennings over the weekend about life and the current state of the NFL. Both guys have multiple Super Bowl rings as Cowboys' defensive linemen in the '90s. And both guys are distinctly disillusioned by not only today's game, but today's breed of player. It's good-ol'-day syndrome, sure, but I think it's shared by a lot of us who remember enjoying a very different brand of NFL. Casillas, by the way, got a kick-ass cake at his half-a-hundred soiree.

   *Don't trust ESPN Stats & Info (@ESPNStatsInfo) on Twitter. Sunday morning it Tweeted the following stat: Since 2011, Cowboys are 16-1 vs teams under .500 .... Wow! But it didn't feel right, because it isn't. Actually since 2011 the Cowboys have lost to the 4-7 Cardinals ('11), the 0-1 Seahawks and 6-8 Saints ('12), and the 1-2 Chargers ('13).

   *Pamela Anderson ran the New York City Marathon Sunday. Which seems like great excuse to toast her impressive achievement by watching her give a lap dance to Howard Stern.

   *At the car wash over the weekend a couple of 30-somethings were chatting when one asked the other to hand her the newspaper. Her: "Do you have the comics?" Him: "What you do read? I read Dilbert and Family Circus and  ..." What. The. What?! People still read the newspaper? People still read the funnies?

   *You know what else I'm tired of? Everything NBA arenas chanting "M-V-P!" when their star goes to the free-throw line. Watched Mavs-Rockets Friday night - Game 2 of the season - and Houston fans were already serenading James Harden. Game 2. Of 82. A tad premature.

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   *Selena Gomez was at the game yesterday and she'll back to sing on Thanksgiving. She used to bang Justin Bieber. She's not as hot as a Cowboys Cheerleader. And, there, you've exhausted my knowledge of Selena Gomez. (And either that was a totally impromptu pic, or else a very confusing use of a trash can as background prop.)

   *As I've said, I'm intrigued by this year's Mavericks. But I can't help from having my enthusiasm dampened by watching Vince Carter shooting perimeter jumpers in crunch time. He's been a great player for a long time, but he's not part of the future and he shouldn't be a part of the game-deciding present.

   *Eight hand-offs in a game - 8! Cowboys have never had fewer in franchise history. You can beat the Vikings with that lack of offensive balance (51 drop-backs), but not the Saints.

   *Happy birthday Dez Bryant, who today is 25 ... going on 15.

   *A Cowboys' win = Free pizza. Today at Pizza Buzz it's our "CowBuzz" Special. Buy one pizza, get one free. Any size. Any style. Any toppings. And, yes, it's our good pizza. Not some skimpy version with sparse toppings because they beat only the Vikings. Bon Appetit.

   *Today? There's the engagement ring, and then there's the wedding band. The latter gets ordered today. Thank you for your continued patronage of DFWSportatorium.com. Mama needs food shoes shelter bling. Don't be a stranger.

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