WHITT'S END: 11.22.13

      Whether you're at the end of your coffee, your day, your week or even your rope, welcome to Whitt's End:

   *Jerry Jones announcing that head coach Jason Garrett will be back in 2014 should surprise no one. Nor should anyone be shocked if he changes his mind. If you don't think the headline-grabbing pronouncement was a planned counter-punch to the Rangers' signing of Prince Fielder, then you don't know Jerry Jones. But before you start making reservations to meet Garrett in Oxnard next summer, just remember that once upon a time - known as 2010 - Jerry claimed that Wade Phillips' job was safe because "I've never changed coaches in the middle of a season, and I never will change coaches in the middle of a season." Two weeks later Phillips was fired. Despite Jerry's ploy on Thursday, Garrett's job should be - and is - on the line in this season's final six weeks.

   *How good has Monta Ellis been for the Mavericks? He's already the best free-agent signing in the Mark Cuban era. In the last three seasons no Mav had a game of at least 32 points and 8 assists. He's done it twice in this season's first 12 games. Ellis and Dirk Nowitzki, by the way, are the NBA's third most prolific duo. I'll give you the details over at NBC 5's Sports Blog.

   *Using next year's "Football Four" college football playoff and this year's teams, we'd be looking at semifinals of Baylor-Alabama in the Rose Bowl and Florida State-Ohio State in the Sugar Bowl, with the winners meeting at AT&T Stadium. Deliciously fake.

   *During a break from watching Sybil emcee an award-winning "What's In Your Pocket?" scavenger hunt at Blue Martini last night, I sneaked a peek at Stars-Rangers. As you know I don't watch a lot of hockey. And I was reminded why. In a 60-minute game there were 63 face-offs. Imagine if there were that many jump-balls in an NBA game.

   *Some self-anointed experts - like somebody at NFL.com named Adam Schein - predicted a Texans-Falcons Super Bowl this season. Those teams are a combined 4-17. My picks: Broncos-Niners. Still doable.

   *As usual the weatherfolks over-exaggerated this "Arctic Blast!" Expecting to go outside in sub-freezing temps and dig the car out from under a foot of wintry mix, instead I awoke in McKinney to zero precipitation, cloudy and 38 degrees.

   *Lots of right-wingers trying to compare Obamacare to Hurricane Katrina as an "American tragedy." Katrina - and a certain President's slow response to it - killed 1,800 people and did $80 billion worth of damage. Obamacare is good intentions plagued by a bad website. Please stop.

   *Hot.

   *Not.

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   *Where was I 50 years ago today when JFK was assassinated? In the tummy of my mom, who was working in the downtown Dallas office of Blue Cross/Blue Shield insurance. Eight months later, in July 1964, I entered this world to someday be a pragmatic punk who simply believes Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone.

   *Wanna warm up on a chilly night? Cowboys Cheerleaders will autograph copies of their 2014 swimsuit calendar tonight 6-9 at the official launch party at the Gaylord Texan.

   *So let me get this straight, NFL. A player who celebrates a touchdown with an orchestrated dance on the ground is penalized 15 yards. But a player - like the Saints' Jimmy Graham last night - who celebrates a touchdown by hanging from the goal posts, yanking them crooked and delaying the game seven minutes while they're re-aligned isn't penalized at all? Yep, makes total sense.

   *As a snotty-nosed kid growing up in Duncanville I had a record player by my bed. Yep, an old-school "needle on the record" contraption that featured a turntable and vinyl. Two of my favorite 33s to fall asleep to: Johnny Cash Live at Folsom Prison and Bill Cosby I Started Out As A Child. Haven't listened to the Cosby record in probably 40 years, but when I pulled it up on YouTube this morning it's eerie how well I remembered it. Almost word-for-word. Our brains are weird, man. Wait, what was my point to all this? Oh yeah! I'm totally gonna watch the 76-year-old's new stand-up sit-down Far From Finished Saturday night at 7 on Comedy Central.

   *Fresno State and Northern Illinois are still undefeated. With four high-profile teams still yet to lose, those teams picked a bad year to have a good year.

   *Very cool that - in the wake of the founder's tragic death last summer - Kidd's Kids took a plane-load of children to Disney yesterday. Bravo!

   *Is it wrong that I take much delight in the demise of RG3 and the implosion of the Redskins? Good, because I do. I really, really do.

   *Crap we've invented but totally don't need in our cars: "Paddle shifters" and "Start/Stop technology." I've got the latter in my car and it works like this: Every time my car comes to a complete stop it automatically turns off. To re-start you simply turn the wheel or take your foot off the brake. But I can't imagine it's good for my engine and I'm 100% sure that it's completely annoying. Fortunately we've also got buttons to switch off these features. Carry on.

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   *Sports Illustrated says A.J. McCarron is "one of the best ever." Hard to argue against that, considering the Alabama quarterback has as many National Championships as losses. That's right, two each. I look at McCarron kinda like I did Duke's Christian Laettner. A great college player in the captain's chair of the peak of an epic dynasty, but whose talent won't translate to much of nothing as a pro.

  *Monta to the Mavs. Fielder to the Rangers. When's the last time the Cowboys made such a buzz with an acquisition? Maybe Brandon Carr in '12. Definitely Terrell  Owens in '06. I look into at NBC 5's Blue Star Blog.

   *You Betcha Week 13: Okay, back in the game. The Broncos' expected double-digit win over the Chiefs boosted our confidence and padded our account with a cool $3,000. There's hope for a profitable season yet. Most confusing outcome of the season is Oklahoma State losing at West Virginia. The Cowboys have plowed through Tech and Texas in recent weeks. They're playing at home, in a game that will likely feature wind and cold and precipitation. When I looked for the line on this game I expected it to be Baylor by a field goal or perhaps closer. I love Baylor. I think they'll win this game. But by 10 points? A 9-1 team playing at  home for a conference championship and getting 10 points is too good to pass up.
STARTING BANKROLL: $10,000

CURRENT BANKROLL: $7,825

SEASON RECORD: 5-7

LAST WEEK: 1-0

THIS WEEK: Oklahoma State plus +10 for $2,500.

   *He might have carried an arrogance to the wrong place at the wrong time, but Freddie Roach is a legendary boxing trainer suffering from Parkinson's disease. If you kick him and make fun of him, you're a weak, bad person who deserves zero respect. I'm talking to you, Alex Ariza.

   *Since hanging 49 points on the Cowboys, the Saints have mustered only 40 in their last two games.

   *Get this question a lot re: Pizza Buzz: "Why don't ya'll deliver to (fill in the Metroplex city)?" Well, as of today, we do! On orders of $200+ we'll deliver to anywhere in D/FW, from Denton to Duncanville to White Rock Lake to White Settlement. So keep us in mind for your Holiday parties, etc. Enjoy!

   *This exchange actually happened last night on our drive home at 11:37 p.m. Me: "Let's go to Whataburger!" Sybil: "No, but at home I've got some squash!!" Me: "What. The. What?!" We passed Whataburger, but I also passed on the squash. Call it a tie?

   *I don't like a lot of NFL analysts, but I love the retiring Dan Dierdorf. Much as I hated him as a member of the St. Louis Cardinals' nasty offensive line in the '70s - they were members of the NFC East back then - I like listening to him break down NFL games. He will be missed.

   *This weekend? Great for indoor activity. Today let's catch a couple movies - Hunger Games and Delivery Man. Tomorrow's time, grudgingly, to put up the Christmas tree. And Sunday, of course, is Cowboys-Giants. Don't be a stranger.

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WHITT'S END: 10.25.13

      Whether you're at the end of your coffee, your day, your week or even your rope, welcome to Whitt's End:

   *Last time the Cowboys rode into Detroit Tony Romo was at the peak of his career. Clutch drive to beat the Lions. Last-second touchdown pass to Jason Witten. On his way to 4,200 yards and the Pro Bowl, and his team was a sparkling 12-1. The head coach on the other sideline that day in December 2007 will be on the Cowboys' bench Sunday at Ford Field: Rod Marinelli.

   *So far in the World Series it's been defense. Bad defense. The simple art of catching and throwing. The Cardinals kicked the ball around like the Bad News Bears in Game 1 and in last night's Game 2 the Red Sox made two errors in the crucial 7th inning in throwing away a lead. So far it's anything but Fall Classic.

   *To help get Pizza Buzz off the ground Sybil and I spent yesterday afternoon hand-delivering fliers in surrounding neighborhoods. Compared to the chaotic convergence of contractors and permits and inspectors and vendors and deliveries and hiring and training and writing checks and ... it was literally a walk in the park. Sunshine. iPod. No phones. My main discovery after trekking around northeast Fort Worth for two hours? Way more folks than I thought still have the newspaper delivered. I'd say one of every three houses had a Fort Worth Star-Telegram in the driveway.

   *Is there any doubt the worst team in the NFL resides in Florida? Only 200 miles apart are the Jacksonville Jaguars and Tampa Bay Buccaneers. They are a combined 0-14 by an average score of 28-13. Bad as the Bucs looked in losing to Carolina last night, I'd take them by a touchdown over the Jags.

   *There is " ... and justice for all." Sometimes. Cardan Spencer, the Dallas cop who shot the mentally ill man in a horrible scene caught on home surveillance video 10 days ago, has been fired. And also charged with aggravated assault. Good. Spencer's report said the victim, Bobby Bennett, took two steps forward and raised a knife in a threatening manner. The video, however, showed Spencer shooting a man who stood still with his arms at his side. The sickening thing about all this is the response from Dallas Police Association President Ron Pinkston, who says "the investigation was pushed through for political and media reasons" and that "the Dallas Police Department lost a very good young police officer today." Bull. Shit. We have enough bad folks on the streets without having cops who will shoot innocent victims.

   *Bases loaded. One out. Tie game. Bottom 9. You win the game you get $10 million cash. You lose the game you get an instant lethal injection. Who do you want at the plate? Hard to not hand the bat to David Ortiz isn't it?

   *Hot.

   *Not.

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   *Oh uniforms, what the what has happened? The Clippers' baby blue and now the Knicks' pumpkin orange makes us appreciate the pinstripes, the star and the silver-'n-black more and more each day. Speaking of horrible looks, anyone remember the Mavs' alternate silver jerseys that lasted one game back in 2003?

   *After all the gnashing of teeth, funny that the Obamacare website was the real thing Americans needed to fear. And, as a lot of us expected, Obamacare hasn't put Americans out of work at all.

   *This weekend will be our last without NBA hoops until late June. Mavs open at home Wednesday against the Hawks.

   *It's always a good day when you check the mailbox and find your tickets to the 2014 Australian Open. 88 days 'til Sybil and I are Down Under. And legally hitched.

   *Athletes are dumb, Chapter 2,167: Niners' tight end Vernon Davis signed an endorsement deal with Vita Coco. That same day, he Tweeted about loving competitor Body Armor. His deal with Vita Coco has been terminated. Is life really that difficult? Or does he really not care?

   *Texas 24, TCU 21. Lions 31, Cowboys 17.

   *This weekend? Going to drum up a little media attention for Pizza Buzz (finally, something about this process in which I have a clue). Saturday morning is tennis, followed by a Halloween party Saturday night in Prosper. Sunday, of course, is Cowboys-Lions. Don't be a stranger.

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