WHITT'S END: 2.26.14

      Whether you're at the end of your coffee, your day, your week or even your rope, welcome to Whitt's End:

   *Drastically lowered ticket prices to local professional sporting events? ...

   *The Rangers' easiest decision since cold beer over warm milk ...

   *The man who predicted Wichita State's undefeated season ...

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WHITT'S END: 2.25.14

      Whether you're at the end of your coffee, your day, your week or even your rope, welcome to Whitt's End:

   *It's better to be lucky than great ...

   *Our sports world changed forever 25 years ago today ...

   *Apparently it's okay for teachers to sext with students as long as ...

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WHITT'S END: 10.22.13

      Whether you're at the end of your coffee, your day, your week or even your rope, welcome to Whitt's End

   *As a kid I watched a futuristic TV show about a pilot who was in a horrible crash, but re-built by doctors using wires and steel and all those gizmos that sound like the assembly line at the GM plant. It gave him super-duper strength via nuclear-powered limbs. His name was Steve Austin. He was the Six Million Dollar Man. Has nothing to do with anything really. Other than the fact that I thought about it while realizing that Brandon Carr was finally evolving into the $50 Million Man. In today's inflated market, though, I'm thinking the sequel would be the Six Billion Dollar Man.

   *After leading their teams to the LCS, Jim Leyland out as Tigers' manager and Don Mattingly iffy returning for the Dodgers. You'd think Ron Washington should be on the hot seat, but you'd be wrong. This year the team he was given by GM Jon Daniels - with Lance Berkman hitting third - actually overachieved. And his body of work the last five years? Win totals of 87, 90, 96, 93 and 91 with one tiebreaker game, three playoff appearances, two trips to the World Series and an almost championship. Nelson Cruz catches that ball in St. Louis in Game 6 and you're even considering canning Wash are you?

   *Let's be politically correct and hyper-sensitive and afraid to offend anyone at anytime and let's, at all cost, put an end to bullying, but ... when on the football field all bets are off. Aledo 91, Western Hills 0. I see nothing wrong with Aledo's side. We've all had our asses kicked at one time or another and hopefully we got better because of it. It's called a "life lesson." I just fear we're about to get the poor Western Hills kids appearing on Good Morning America and painted as poor, try-hard kids who were bullied. America has gone softer than Hugh Hefner without his Viagra.

   *Probably just an aberration, but in last night's pre-season loss to the Rockets Dirk Nowitzki was a defensive enforcer. You heard me. Four blocked shots and an ejection for a flagrant foul after knocking Omri Casspi to the court. Wouldn't it be weird if, in his twilight years, Dirk transitioned from one of the NBA's all-time best scorers into ... Chris Dudley.

   *Giants-Vikings was the worst NFL game since way back on, well, actually Sunday afternoon when the Cowboys survived the Eagles. And it's going to get worse before it gets better. Thursday night's game? Panthers at Buccaneers.

   *Hot.

   *Not.

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   *The man on your right is assured of getting hugged, oh, about 90 times in 2014. Tim Bogar, welcome to the dugout seat next to Ron Washington.

   *Y'all know how I feel about Tony Romo. I'm a Romo Homo. I stubbornly believe he's a Top 10 quarterback that possesses both the skill to win a Super Bowl and the fragile psyche to make inexplicably horrible decisions at key times. That said, I'm troubled by him demonstratively calling out his teammates. Terrance Williams ran the wrong route against the Giants. Now last Sunday Phillip Tanner ran his defender into Tony's flight path for a pick. Truth. Don't doubt it for a second. But you don't see Peyton Manning going all palms-up-what-the-what?! while coming off the field. The Cowboys have a chance to make the playoffs this season in a diluted division. But No. 9 needs to lead with his arm, not by pointing fingers.

   *Another story that will dent your trust in the police: 13-year Fort Worth veteran office Antoine Williams conducted a drug raid, and stole a pair of Air Jordans in the process.

   *I don't agree with the old adage of "Never hit a woman." What if she's hitting you ... with a crowbar? What if she's about to stab your Dad? What if she's a Patriots' fan that comes at you all tough and ... Okay, maybe she didn't deserve to be decked by a right cross to the lipstick. But we shouldn't be surprised. The hitter is a 38-year-old bartender who spent time in prison in the '90s for stabbing a teenager. Solid citizen.

   *Today? Receiving our first order of beer at Pizza Buzz. You can almost taste our opening can't you? Don't be a stranger.

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WHITT'S END: 10.4.13

      Whether you're at the end of your coffee, your day, your week or even your rope, welcome to Whitt's End

   *So - according to Shan and Choppy on my old station - the night after the Rangers get eliminated by the Rays, their brass has a meeting in Arlington. At some point Nolan Ryan and Jon Daniels start discussing Jackie Moore's role. Then debating, then arguing and next thing you know Ron Washington has to step in to keep it from escalating into a physical confrontation. Proving that JD has the ultimate power, Moore was fired. While I disagree that Moore doesn't have a valuable place on Wash's bench, I've said it before and I'll say it again: Ownership - and fans - should covet the GM and let Big Tex mosey out of town. Besides, really? At age 66 Nolan still thinks the best way to resolve disputes is to put people in a headlock? Embarrassing.

   *Tony Romo has thrown one interception in 151 passes. Last year at this time he'd thrown eight interceptions in 152 passes. If you wanna continue blaming him for the Cowboys' mediocrity go ahead. But I tell you why you're wrong to do so over at NBC 5's Blue Star Blog.

   *Hook, um? Texas needed a couple lucky breaks to beat Iowa State by one point last night. First, the Hail Mary for a touchdown to end the first half. Then the bad call at the goal line in the final minute. Jonathan Gray's knee wasn't down when he had the ball stripped from him by the Cyclones' linebacker. Should've been a fumble. Should've been ball game, and an Iowa State win. While ISU coach Paul Rhoads was fittingly fuming, Mack Brown was somehow giddy about his team: "I'm so damn  happy tonight. I'm really excited about moving forward." UT, 2-0 in the Big 12, moves forward to Saturday's annual battle against OU in the Cotton Bowl. Where it will get demolished. Speaking of Texas, it really bothers me that the rounded numbers on their helmets don't match the numbers with angled corners on their jerseys. Anyone else?

   *After offering details of Randy Galloway's dwindling radio career, I realized 103.3 FM ESPN has afternoon baseball today. That means he's down to one final show: Monday 3-6. That's assuming the station will bump baseball to one of its sister stations to make room for one last Cowboys' overreaction Monday of the icon's career. I'm told that the new afternoon show on ESPN will be Matt Mosley, paired with a partner who is an in-town guy and a "familiar voice" to Metroplex radio listeners.

   *Three gigs I believe we waaaay overrate: Tap-dancing, DJing and orchestra conducting. In tap-dancing, the wildly animated foot movements never quite match the sound, and I think the swinging arms are merely designed to distract us from the lack of synchronicity. If you think about, DJs aren't really creating anything unique. They're just taking others' music and morphing them together. It'd be like a "master chef" who simply serves two restaurants' signature dishes ... on the same plate. And do we really need a conductor giving direct, demonstrative cues to a professional orchestra? If you're at that level as a, say, violinist, you've played Beethoven's 5th a gabillion times. You pretty much know the song. The Dallas Symphony Orchestra, for example, needs a conductor about as much as I need an editor hovering over my keyboard and pointing his cocky wand to the C as I begin to type Cowboys.

   *Hot.

   *Not.

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   *Behind Dirk Nowitzki, my favorite NBA player is Derrick Rose. Love his attacking style. Love his no-nonsense demeanor. He's back on the court for the Chicago Bulls this preseason. It's been a minute hasn't it? Because of his torn ACL, last time I got to watch Rose play (April 28, 2012), Johnny Manziel was still playing quarterback for Kerrville Tivy High School.

   *Looks like our 100-degree days are Dead & Gone for 2013. In fact, how about a high Saturday of 70 and lows over the weekend in the 40s? Sounds like perfect weather for an open roof for Broncos-Cowboys. I admit the cooler weather feels like a temporary respite, but as a guy who loves the summer heat it's always sad to sense the commencing of us putting on more clothes and more pounds for the approaching winter.

   *Is it possible to have a chronic, even terminal hamstring? Miles Austin might be a medical miracle.

   *Just because you don't agree with me on a particular point doesn't mean I'm "trolling." Just means we disagree on a particular point. And, while we're at it, telling me to "stick to sports" on my own blog is a bigger waste of time than telling Jerry Jones the owner to fire Jerry Jones the general manager. Not happening. You wouldn't voluntarily walk into McDonald's, peruse their diverse menu, and yell "stick to burgers!" Or, I dunno, maybe you would.

   *Found a vehicle on our roads almost as useless as the White Truck. The street sweeper. Saw a couple of them on 121 Thursday moving at about 2 mph, sending dust flying from under them. I just don't get the concept and purpose. Is the street sweeper's job to make sure the shoulders of America's highways are spotless? Because, if so, that's preposterous. It's like a guy with two broken ankles blowing off rehab to spend time spit-shining his shoes. (Wait, I went out late with Sybil last night and woke up early, did that make any sense at all?)

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   *Broncos 34, Cowboys 24. Dallas' pass defense has surrendered an NFL-high 10 touchdown passes. Guaranteed that number climbs Sunday in Arlington.

   *I'm barely technically savvy enough to keep this blog running, but I have a great idea: Tape-measure App for a smartphone. Out at Pizza Buzz this week I've needed one three times. Anybody know if this one works?

   *Stumbled across an old friend on Twitter. Some of you old-timers might remember the name Susie Woodhams? She wrote for the Dallas Times Herald in the '80s and '90s, pairing with Mickey Spagnola on the newspaper's Cowboys beat opposite Ed Werder/Tim Cowlishaw at the Morning News and Me/Mike Fisher at the Star-Telegram. She then moved onto an eight-year career on Channel 8 as one of Dale Hansen's reporters. These days she's an expat writing books in France. Very cool.

   *If you're a little drowsy today like me - partying with Sybil at Plano's Blue Martini is my excuse - this diddy (yep, by a DJ) will put a pep in your step: Showtek's "Booyah".

   *This weekend? Saturday morning is tennis, followed by something I do about once a year but always enjoy it: Bowling. Sunday is Cowboys-Broncos. Look for smiling face Sunday on NBC 5. Don't be a stranger.

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WHITT'S END: 10.3.13

      Whether you're at the end of your coffee, your day, your week or even your rope, welcome to Whitt's End

  *Wednesday's firing of Rangers' bench coach Jackie Moore alerts us as to who is really in charge in Arlington these days: Jon Daniels. Moore was a long-time Nolan Ryan guy. A baseball lifer. A 70-something whose seen 5,000+ games from the dugout alongside the likes of Whitey Herzog, Billy Martin and Lou Pinella. But the GM apparently wants sitting beside manager Ron Washington someone more like, well, the GM. A younger guy with a statsier approach. Daniels wants science and scouting over guts and guile. Tell that to Joe Torre, who won four titles in the Yankees' dugout with Don Zimmer in his hip pocket. Like Zimmer, Moore still thinks WAR is something to be avoided, not studied. Besides, who is Wash gonna hug from now on after wins? Probably his pack of cigs.

   *Been telling you for a month or so that Randy Galloway's radio days were numbered. Now we know the exact number: 3. Galloway, a DFW media icon for 50 years, will do his regular shift on 103.3 FM ESPN Thursday, Friday and then hang up his microphone after Monday afternoon's 3-6 p.m. show. I'm told sidekick Matt Mosley will get a new partner for the prime-time slot starting next week. Who it be? Stay tuned.

   *I got an idea: Let's NOT tailgate in a Cowboys' jersey before they play Chargers in San Diego.

   *Went to the Office Depot on Highway 377 in Watauga yesterday in search of a computer, etc. for our Pizza Buzz office. Me: "So, um, what's the difference between this one and that one?" Associate in red shirt: "Hmm. Let me see ... Well, I don't think anything." Really? Because the price between the computers was $100. In hamburger money that's like $3. A burger for $7 better be a whole different - hopefully better - than the one for $4. Even more frustrating, after 20 minutes figuring out which one was best for us, yep, you guessed it ... neither one was in stock. Bought the display out-of-box at a big discount and am hoping for the best. By the way, Dead & Gone: Desktop computer "towers." Now they're just somehow "built in" to the monitor. Freaky.

   *Tell me again that baseball doesn't over-celebrate. The Rays have already enjoyed three champagne parties - clinching tiebreaker, winning tiebreaker, winning Wild Card - before the first pitch of the ALDS.

   *The Cowboys are 2-0 at home. Amazingly, they haven't started 3-0 since the days of Aikman, Emmitt, Deion, Texas Stadium and Prince. Yep, 1999. One of the reasons? AT&T Stadium - where the Cowboys are 20-15 - just  isn't an intimidating place. I discuss over at NBC 5's Blue Star Blog.

   *Hot.

   *Not.

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   *We're still hiring drivers at Pizza Buzz, where we're set to open next week (finally). Contact Justin@PizzaBuzz.com if you're interested in delivering pizza and beer to the fantastic tippers in Fort Worth. We've fired up the oven and chilled down the freezers. Goofing off yesterday we were wondering how long one of us could survive in the 34-degree metal box. In just shorts and a T-shirt. I was guessing I could last overnight, long as I jogged in place and kept my body temp up. But I dunno, my buddy might be right that hypothermia would set in and you'd be done within a couple hours. Just standing in it for 10 minutes was miserable.

   *HaHa Clinton-Dix is suspended from Alabama for violation of team rules. The story isn't that he's suspended. Or that he's the No. 1 DB NFL Draft prospect in college football. It's that his name is HaHa. Silly me, I thought my childhood buddy Happy Slauson had the most joyful name ever. Truth.

   *Remember when we looked up as kids and were amazed by all the twinkling lights? Now NASA brains are certain that there are more stars in the sky than there are grains of sand on every beach on Earth. Yep, my mind just officially blew. And to think, some Earthlings think we're somehow the only "chosen ones" given the gift of life. Yeah, right.

   *Watched the movie Disconnect last night and ... thumbs up. Dysfunctional relationships in an online world. It's different. It's thought-provoking. It's realistic. And it's got clever plot twists. I don't like most movies, but this one is worth your time and money.

   *Texas sucks, but they'll take care of Iowa State tonight on the road. Horns, 34-23.

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   *I've tried not to like Ray's manager Joe Maddon and his goofy glasses, but I just can't. He's a great manager, but also a likable, honest guy with the media and he's true to his hometown, charitable roots. Good on him.

   *You Betcha Week 6: Damn, that was ugly. First time this year I've just been flat-out wrong about a game. Thought I was in good shape with SMU (plus 20 points) leading TCU, 10-7, at halftime last week. But, um, the Frogs pounced on the Mustangs to the tune of 38-7 in the 2nd half and ... loser. This week? I witnessed the Cowboys' paltry, 27th-ranked pass defense this year against Eli Manning and Phillip Rivers. Dallas has already allowed 10 passing touchdowns, most in the league. I cringe at what Peyton Manning will do without a lick of pressure and with Orlando Scandrick trying to shadow Wes Welker. Yikes. I really think the Broncos will top 40 points.
STARTING BANKROLL: $10,000.
CURRENT BANKROLL: $8,975.
SEASON RECORD: 2-3.
LAST WEEK: 0-1.
THIS WEEK: Broncos minus-8 over Cowboys, for $1,000.

   *Good pitching beats good hitting, version 4,000,000.0: In two elimination games spanning 18 innings the Rays have allowed just two runs.

   *I've known the dork in the freezer pic since high school. These days he's my business partner. And today he turns, gulp, 50. Seems like just yesterday we were spending leisurely summer afternoons swimming and playing wiffle ball in his backyard and crazy, dangerous nights playing "tag" from our cars. All my buddies from the Duncanville High School Class of '82 are turning half-a-hundred. Please accept my condolences.

   *Today? Pizza Buzz today and Sybil got her hair did for Fall. So me and my fiancee and her touch of Autumn red are going out somewhere tonight. Don't be a stranger.

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WHITT'S END: 9.30.13

      Whether you're at the end of your coffee, your day, your week or even your rope, welcome to Whitt's End

   *Rangers win! Cowboys lose!! Let's keep it simple today.

   *Chargers 30, Cowboys 21: My Top 10 Whitty Comments are over at NBC 5's Blue Star Blog.

   *I admit, I didn't think the Rangers would be playing baseball tonight. Thought they were done after Sept. 22's kick-to-the-crotch loss in Kansas City via Grand Slam in extra innings. Give 'em credit. I know they played the putrid Astros and Angels, but they won seven consecutive elimination games to end the season. Impressive.

   *So did the Rangers make the playoffs? They're kind of in Purgatory, the gray space between success and failure. Tonight at 7 on TBS they'll play Game 163, and all the statistics will count toward the regular season. But Nelson Cruz will be back and it's a do-or-die game, so it must be the post-season. Right?

   *When Bruce Carter and Morris Claiborne get benched, it's hard to blame the Cowboys' coaching staff. Neither of those highly-touted guys are making plays, and Monte Kiffin is attempting to fix what is surprisingly broken.

   *David Price vs. Martin Perez. Tampa's veteran ace vs. Texas' 22-year-old rookie that has made only 25 career starts, 0 in the post-season. Seems like a mismatch, but Price is 1-7 all-time against the Rangers with a 5.57 ERA and 1-2 with a 10.26 ERA in four starts in Arlington. Also in the Rangers' favor, home teams are 5-1 in Tiebreaker Play-In Games since '95.

   *Hot.

   *Not.

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   *20 games into his NFL career and I'm trying to remember Claiborne's signature play. He has one interception (last year against Cam Newton) and one touchdown (a scoop-'n-score fumble return against the Eagles.) Yikes.

   *You know who I can't stand? The lazy, shallow Cowboys' "fan" who watches the loss to the Chargers and issues the same, tired synopsis. "They just weren't mentally prepared." Wait, what the what?! How was their mental preparation when they were up 21-10 just before halftime? "They just have a losing culture." This is tough for Cowboys fans, but sometimes you just have to admit that your players got their butts kicked by their players. Remember the expectations for this team. When you predict them to go 9-7, you shouldn't freak out at 2-2. "Same ol' Cowboys." They're 23-21 under Jason Garrett and .500 going all the way back to 1996. When they win why isn't also "same ol' Cowboys"?

   *If Yu Darvish is truly an ace, he's got to last more than 85 pitches in a Game 7 situation.

   *ESPN's Ray Lewis picked the winner, but I'm pretty sure he didn't do his homework. Offered Lewis of Cowboys-Chargers on the network's pre-game show: "The Chargers are very excited about their football team. I think at home they win today." I get tons better analysis in the comments section, and you guys are considerably less paid.

   *Unless Adrian Beltre goes bonkers tonight the Rangers will finish without a 100-RBI guy for only the third time in the last 20 years. Beltre has 92 RBI. In '07 Michael Young led the team with 94 and in '09 it was Marlon Byrd with 89.

 

  *Activating and playing Cruz isn't even a debate. Stop it. He's eligible to play. So he should play. Not sure what message you think the Rangers would send by not playing their biggest bat in the season's biggest game.

   *Yes, the Cowboys' defense was atrocious Sunday. But you know what hurt them as much as anything else? Three third-down drops by receivers that ended offensive drives. Dwayne Harris, Dez Bryant and Jason Witten all should've caught key passes, but didn't. Said Dez of his third-quarter drop on the sideline: "Just trying to see where I was at on the field. I kind of lost my eye on the ball, trying to keep my feet in bounds."

   *Rangers' TV play-by-play voice Steve Busby yesterday described a pitch as a "comeback fastball." I know baseball can get tedious, but sometimes announcers just make up crap to test if we're listening.

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   *Best moment of the weekend was Josh Hamilton meekly flying out in the last at-bat of his failed, forgettable season, getting roundly booed by Rangers fans and then sarcastically tipping his cap. Hamilton reminds me of someone else. Once a more popular, more rotund, more successful person, he's also deteriorated into a freakishly skinny dude with drastically dipping performance, diminished popularity and a scraggly beard. He's ... Breaking Bad's Walter White. Right? Wait, who did you think I was talking about?

   *David Arkin has yet to play a single snap for the Cowboys. The offensive lineman was selected in the 4th Round of the 2011 NFL Draft, 44 picks ahead of Seahawks' cornerback Richard Sherman. I apologize for ruining your breakfast.

   *Under Ron Washington the Rangers are 1-3 in elimination games. They won Game 5 over the Rays in 2010, but have since lost Game 5 of the '10 World Series, Game 7 of the '11 World Series and the Wild-Card Game to the Orioles in '12.

   *Love Fox Sports Southwest's suuuuuuuper-sloooooooow-motionnnnnnnn camera for Rangers replays, but not sure why it's called "Phantom Cam." Phantom refers to a ghost or an illusion of something that's almost impossible to see. This camera makes things easier to see. Really should be called the Un-Phantom Cam.

   *The Rangers' Alex Rios has played 1,454 games without reaching the playoffs, third-most among active players behind only Adam Dunn and Vernon Wells. The all-time record? Ernie Banks and his 2,528 over 19 seasons with the Cubs. If the Rangers don't officially make the playoffs, won't be Rios' fault. In 46 games in Texas he's hit .280 with six homers and 25 RBI.

   *Hope you enjoyed that pink-free Cowboys game. Because of breast cancer awareness month, it'll be the last one until Nov. 3. I hate cancer and I love charity, it just gets old after oh, I dunno, two weeks.

   *Today? I know all the buzz is Cowboys' loss and Rangers' win, but I'll be down at American Airlines Center this afternoon for Mavs' Media Day. Tonight at 7 I'll figure out where TBS is on DirecTV and watch Rangers-Rays. Don't be a stranger.

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WHITT'S END: 9.13.13

      Whether you're at the end of your rope or merely the end of your week, welcome to Whitt's End

   *As the Rangers fall into the funk of another September Swoon, don't even start with blaming manager Ron Washington. His offense was decimated in the off-season (Josh Hamilton, Mike Napoli, Michael Young), further diluted during the season (Nelson Cruz) and his pitching staff (Colby Lewis, Neftali Feliz, Matt Harrison, Alexi Ogando) has suffered significant injuries. Right? Even if they sweep the A's in Arlington over the weekend, Rangers will be in second place come Monday morning.

   *I've been watching/remembering football since 1970 and Thursday night I witnessed a first. An amazing, incredible, improbable first. Louisiana Tech kicker Kyle Fischer made a 25-yard field goal by banking the ball off both uprights. Left. Right. Through. Most unlikely three points in the history of college football. Think about it. An oblong-spheroid football - traveling end over end, mind you - bouncing 90-degree sideways off a small, round piece of metal. The "flat" surfaces of both objects are minuscule and to have them meet just right is ... I'd love to see that Sports Science nerd or Bill Nye re-create this one. Seriously, could Dan Bailey turn that trick if he tried? Off the left upright. Then off the right upright Then through the goal post, but landing on the ground left of the original target, the left upright. No way. I'd bet him $1 a try for as long as he wanted to try. What Fischer did is the bowling equivalent of converting a 7-10 split, with an egg-shaped ball. We just saw the Halley's Comet of football. Once in our lifetime.

   *I'm all for cracking down on choreographed end-zone dances in the NFL, but the fine levied for Barry Church's touchdown celebration is ridiculous. His crime? Throwing the football into the stands. His punishment? $5,250. Allowing balls tossed into the crowd is one thing baseball has right over the other sports.

   *I know this is a stretch, but give me Mayweather over Alvarez Saturday night at the MGM in Vegas. He's 44-0 because he is the best defensive player in all of sports. Too quick and agile to ever get a clean hit on his cocky mug.

   *Alabama 37, Texas A&M 28. Even though it's impossible to root for Nick Prick Saban.

   *Remember all the back-to-back-to-back walk-off fireworks at Rangers Ballpark in August? Feels like years ago, eh? The Rangers have lost their way in the West because they suck at home. After getting swept by the Pirates they're only 39-32 in Arlington, but 15-16 since July 1. The A's at home? 47-27.

   *Strange Thursday night in college football. The above-mentioned field goal and, in Lubbock, a fox ran onto the field during Tech-TCU. No, not a hot girl from the '70s. An actual animal. (Come to think of it, never seen that before either.) It prompted Sybil and I to wonder - an then attempt to mimic - the sound a fox makes. She went with a sort of growl-meow. I offered the high-pitch, low-volume howl. Are we close? Or, on second thought, are foxes too sly to make a noise at all?

   *Wanna hear a horrible idea? Let's spend $15,000 to add a technological tweak to a "Whites Only" water fountain in Dallas as a reminder as to why we took them down in the first place. No, let's don't.

   *Hot.

   *Not.

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   *Sorry, but if you have yourself tricked into Triskaidekaphobia - fear of Friday the 13th - then we're probably not going to be friends. Life is hard enough without being irrationally scared out of your shorts by inanimate things that have zero potential of endangering you. One of my pet peeves is being weak-minded, as in, falling for crap like superstition and phobias and knocking on wood and, yes, karma. But I've got my fingers crossed behind my back as I type this. Just in case.

   *Thanks to all you who attended our official Launch Party last Saturday night at Baby Dolls. Even the guy who brought his Rangers' koozie, and bought it a lap dance. "Dude," he told me, "I don't go anywhere without it. It's good luck." Man, humans are weird.

   *The sex, drugs and cheating at Oklahoma State isn't shocking at all. Surprising part of the scandal? That T. Boone Pickens and Dez Bryant somehow escaped being implicated in any way, shape or form. Good for them.

   *Is it just me, or does Lorde's "Tennis Courts" and Matt and Kim's "Cameras" have the same beat?

   *Really, Tech? Storming the field after beating TCU? The 1-loss Frogs were ranked 24th and favored by only three. Not worthy. Sorry. You know what should have happened after the game? Fans should have walked up and thanked the referees. For a blown illegal fair-catch call that negated a Frogs' punt-return touchdown. And for an interference call on a Tech punt return that turned what should have been a Raiders' fumble into Tech possession plus a 15-yard penalty. Atrocious.

   *I know this sounds like a broken record, but I talked again today with a source heavily involved in a new all-sports radio station set to launch in DFW. He says the wheels are in still in motion. That the idea is alive and kicking. AM dial. 50,000 watts. "Guy talk." But, at this point, I'll believe it when I see hear it.

   *A commenter on this blog referred to me last week as a "pussy." Pretty sure he meant it in a derogatory way. But it got me to thinking. Shouldn't "pussy" be the ultimate compliment a man can give someone? We think about it all day. We crave it. We honor it, put it on a pedestal. We long to spend our days ogling photos and videos of it. We lie, steal, cheat and work 80-hour weeks to be able to afford it. We've fought wars over it. Yet somehow being called "pussy" is supposed to hurt my feelings? Calling someone a "big pussy" should be a way of acknowledging that he's one of the most admired, respected people on the planet. Of course we're also the people who bestow compliments such as "You're the shit." Man, he repeated, humans are weird.

   *Twitter has filed preliminary IPO paperwork to take the company to the stock market. It has less than $1 billion in annual revenue. I'm so dumb I don't understand how it has any revenue. Never seen an ad on Twitter. You?

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   *One day I'm watching these lucky Lottery winners on TV and one of the guys has on a T-Shirt that says "Keep Calm ... Chive On." Didn't understand, but didn't think much of it. Until, that is, I'm watching JumboJerry last Sunday night at AT&T Stadium. During a timeout they're scanning the crowd for hot chicks and - bam - a buh-NAN-uh in a "Keep Calm ... Chive On!" T-Shirt. So I investigated. Damn. Gotta get me one of those shirts.

   *Reminded last night that Bill Belichick is an all-time jerk. There was a skirmish at the end of Patriots-Jets and two New York linemen - Willie Colon and D'Brickashaw Ferguson - were ejected. Happened in the final minute and all that's left was one Tom Brady kneel-down and game over. But, nooo, Belidick is insistent that the two ejected Jets are made to literally leave, forced to run from their bench across the field to the locker-room tunnel. Because, as we all know, Belichick is such a stickler for rules. Unless, of course, he's setting up secret cameras to spy on other teams' practices. Then his morals are a tad more flexible. How does anybody root for that guy?

   *Those stubbornly clinging to the notion that baseball is still America's Pastime must cringe at this. The Olympics just reinstated wrestling over baseball. Wrestling! Ouch.

   *Always said I wouldn't mind living in Scandinavia, and now I know why. First, those neutral countries are never involved in world conflict. Second, they're the happiest nations on the planet. Perhaps 1 begats 2, no? A new study says the happiest countries in the world are 1. Denmark; 2. Norway; 3. Switzerland; 4. Netherlands; 5. Sweden. The U.S. came in at No. 17. Now get back to work and worry some more on how we can fix Syria's problems!

   *Didn't take race-baiting columnist/blowhard Jason Whitlock long to get into trouble at ESPN. In commenting on Sports Illustrated's fantastic Oklahoma State scandal story this week, Whitlock said of author Thayer Evans: "Let me end by saying this and I honestly mean this without malice. It wouldn't shock me if Thayer Evans couldn't spell "cat" and I say that in all seriousness." In all seriousness? Really? Does Whitlock have any idea how stupid it makes him look to think that an elite investigative journalist can't spell a three-letter household word? Sounds like somebody's pissed a big story got broken right under their nose.

   *A man - Houston attorney Tony Buzbee - paid a record $115,000 for a Texas A&M "12th Man" license plate. Even though he's giving it to an A&M war veteran, that's an Aggie joke, right? $115,000?!

   *If Mark Sanchez played quarterback for the Jaguars would we even know he was hurt? Instead, ESPN is reading his texts, displaying anatomy diagrams and breathlessly reporting every detail about his shoulder injury. He's a below-average quarterback on a mediocre team. Not interested.

   *Dead 'n Gone: TV theme songs. I grew up singing along to Gilligan's Island ("Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale ... ") and Cheers (" ... where everybody knows your name ... "). These days I love Dexter and Breaking Bad, but I don't know one word of their opening songs. Why? 'Cuz there aren't any. I guess True Blood ("I wanna do bad things with you ... ") is the exception. Speaking of openings, what do we think of Carrie Underwood's Sunday Night Football routine? Feels uncomfortable at first, but I betcha by December we won't remember how ol' whatzhername's version sounded.

   *What's former Stars' star Mike Modano up to these days? Crafting his own beer. Called "561", after the number of goals he scored in the NHL. Very cool.

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   *So let me get this straight: Football is a violent game played by tough Gladiators that ... wear wigs? Watching the Red Zone channel last Sunday I was taken aback by all the long hair sticking out from helmets and down backs. Since we never notice that "in-between" length on these players, we have to believe they're wearing hair extensions, right? Man, he recited for a third time, humans are weird. Then he looked in the mirror, remembered that he underwent two hair transplant surgeries, has an appointment for a fresh frosting of the tips Saturday morning, mumbled something about "you" and "weirder" and trundled off to bed.

   *I got my eye on a new iPhone 5s. The fingerprint lock is muy bueno. And, speaking of technology, when Tweetdeck died about a month ago I fiddled around with alternatives like Tweetbot, etc. Final choice: Regular ol' Twitter. It's perfectly fine on my phone. Who knew?

   *You'd think one Leon Lett Super Bowl highlight or the memory of DeSean Jackson's Monday Night Football gaffe would do the trick, but apparently not. Twice this season already I've seen players scoring touchdowns instead drop the football just before crossing the goal line. Happened last night when Tech running back DeAndre Washington took a swing pass and sprinted down the sideline for a key score in a 10-10 game late in the fourth quarter. But inexplicably - trying to look cool, I guess? - he casually dropped the ball at the 1-yard line. I don't want to sound too old-manish here, but does dropping the ball actually in the end zone somehow strip you of street cred? It's gotta be the dumbest, most maddening play in all of sports.

   *Remember the "friend" who I loaned $6,500 to in May? After much consultation I decided to have my attorney send him a demand letter. If he doesn't repay by Oct. 5, it's off to small claims court where it's a no-brainer. I've got our agreement, my work and his excuses all neatly documented. Hate to do it, but I'm left with no choice. If it was $65 or even $650 I'd have more patience, but $6,500 is real money. Right, Pizza Buzz?

   *We hear all these people who "die", see a wonderful bright white light inviting them to Heaven before being yanked back to life on Earth. Ever hear of somebody who temporarily died and reported seeing darkness lit only by searing flames? Didn't think so. How convenient.

   *Speaking of - and wondering about - Pizza Buzz? Yeah, me too. Construction delays/snafus have continually pushed us back. At this point Oct. 1 seems realistic. And, yes, I'm beyond frustrated with starting a business from the ground up. Why didn't anyone warn me? Oh, you tried? Screw me. Being the first restaurant in the Metroplex to deliver pizza and beer will still be a success, it'll just occur after foreplay that has been longer and more expensive than I envisioned. Oct. 1. Knock on wood.

   *Diana Nyad swimming is one thing. But flying across the Atlantic via a bunch of toy balloons? No friggin' way he makes it.

   *How powerful is the NFL? Last week its games were the top-rated show of the week in all 30 of its TV markets. That's how powerful.

   *This weekend? Tonight Sybil and I are going to Dia De Los Toadies at the Panther Island Pavilion in Fort Worth. Never been to this water concert venue, but looking forward to it. Saturday is tennis, followed by 'Bama-A&M. Sunday is Cowboys-Chiefs, capped off by the sold-out Dinner For Justice event, emceed by Sybil and produced by DFWRescueMe. Don't be a stranger.

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WHITT'S END: 8.30.13

      Whether you're at the end of your rope or merely the end of your week, welcome to Whitt's End

   *Sure, $765 million is a lot of money. But as the total price tag for 4,500 former NFL players complaining of life-altering concussion side effects? I always thought memories were priceless.

   *Looking for My Top 10 Whitty Observations from Thursday night's scintillating Cowboys' loss to the Texans? It's right over here on NBC's Blue Star Blog.

   *Love a lot of the Cowboys' pieces heading into 2013 season. But you can't ignore how bad their lines will be. No Jay Ratliff. A limited Anthony Spencer. No Josh Brent. No Nate Livings. Doug Free at a position he's never played. It's ugly. And it's not lost on former Cowboy/ESPN's Darren Woodson: "You have to win in the trenches. That’s the sauce. We can say what we want to say about Dez Bryant and Jason Witten and Miles Austin and Tony Romo but if you’re not winning in the trenches, you’re not winning a championship." Sorry, the Cowboys aren't winning in the trenches this year. And they're not winning a championship.

   *At the beginning of August we were panicky about the Rangers. They were six games back of the A's. In an epic scoring drought. And now? At the beginning of September it's all good. Texas is 19-6 this month and can tie the best month in franchise history by winning Friday and Saturday against the lowly Twins. That the way baseball go. Big series starts Monday afternoon in Oakland.

   *Johnny Goofball's suspension will be shorter than the time you take to read Whitt's End.

   *Hot.

   *Not.

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   *Why are women always so dang cold? Always. Sybil and I are driving to Cowboys Kickoff Luncheon last Wednesday. Temp outside at 11 a.m. was already 92 degrees and my driver's seat was bathed in sunshine. I set our dual temps on 66 degrees. Seconds later, she looks up from her book long enough to drastically, wildly spin her temp control and angle her vents in my direction. Result? While she sat in the shade reading, I was left now with 81-degree air blowing on me, neutralizing my intended, cool breeze. I was soon drenched in both sun, sweat and stress. The most troubling part was the violence of her actions. 81 wasn't her goal, it was just her accidental, inconsequential destination reached via maximum reaction to a temporary problem. She - like all women - is blessed with only two temperature settings. Complaining cold and dosomethingaboutit cold. 66 could've been adjusted to 69, or 70 even. But to crank it to 81 with ... ah, women. If y'all weren't so irresistible it'd be so easy to resist you.

   *Lamar Odom Odor will go down as the fourth-worst acquisition in the history of your Dallas Mavericks, behind only Roy Tarpley, Shawn Bradley and Chris Anstey. He came here, never got in shape, quit and helped ruin a season in which the Mavs were attempting to defend its only title. And now, proving he's one of the biggest assholes in sports, he got arrested on a DUI early this morning near L.A. Good riddance. Can't wait to hear what that squawking Khloe Kardashian has to say now about her precious "Lam Lam." Vomit.

   *Speaking of the Kickoff Luncheon, anything newsy happen? Actually, kinda. Jason Garrett talked Super Bowl. Swear. Heard it with my own ears.

   *Not saying that South Carolina defensive end JaDeveon Clowney is a one-hit wonder, but did you catch his act in last night's opener vs. North Carolina? Dude was a non-factor, and so outta shape that he twice took himself out of the game. Somebody spent the off-season not in the weight room but in front of the TV watching their highlights.

   *Tell me we're not really pondering a bombing of Syria. Syria? No wonder the rest of the world hates us. Nobody likes a bully. Speaking of "war", I read that a wave of bombings killed 26 civilians in Baghdad last Tuesday. So glad we went out of our way to "liberate" that country. Seems like it worked out swimmingly.

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   *After all the positive reaction to buddette Leigh Costa's pic in the latest issue of DFW.com, maybe I should produce a list of My Top 10 Hottest Friends to supplement My Top 10 Hottest Women on Metroplex TV.

   *Dumbest thing in sports is the baseball manager stopping the game to run on the field and argue ... anything. And, furthermore, for it being totally legal. Why? Wednesday night Elvis Andrus got called out for running to 1st out of the running lane. Good call. And here comes Ron Washington. I don't care if he's arguing with the umpire or merely protecting his shortstop from getting ejected, it's silly. Just stay in the dugout, please. And why doesn't first-base coach Dave Anderson protect the player? If he needs "protecting" at all. Baseball fans' answer to my question is, of course, "tradition." If your solution to a problem is to do nothing and invoke "We've always done it that way", it's probably not a solution at all.

   *Eat. Sleep. Rave. Repeat. I'd like that to be my to-do list.

   *Don't know what's more troubling, that 10.06 million viewers watched Miley Cyrus effin' a foam finger during the MTV Video Music Awards, or that 10.07 million people watched A&E's Duck Dynasty and ... whatever it is they do. Not interested.

   *TCU (+5) over LSU. Book it.

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   *As the domination has vanished, the drama has appeared. That's Tiger Woods these days. Last week he went down on all fours supposedly in pain from back spasms. Coincidentally, the fake falldown occurred  after an errant drive. Yet somehow he hit enough good shots to finish ... second. C'mon. We're not that gullible.

   *We're so desperate for feel-good American tennis moments that even the U.S. Open is putting irrational spins on mediocre storylines. James Blake loses in the first round, retires and it's hailed as a "great career." Ranked as high as No. 4 in 2006, but never made it past quarterfinals of any Grand Slam. Sorry, that ain't great. Then there's the first-round upset of former Open champ Samantha Stosur by 17-year-old American qualifier Victoria Duval. She's cute and all, but after she lost in straight sets in the 2nd round the headline blared "American teen's magical run ends." Magical run? The girl won one match. Sheesh.

   *Heard from exactly two people that my old radio partner has resurfaced from his latest disappearance and is - after two months - trying to re-spin his side of the story. Seriously, I pray for the guy. He needs help. And I don't think he'll find it in 24-ounce bottles of Heineken bought at Still On The Corner in Gainesville. But I know for a fact that's where he's looking. Sad.

   *It's only September but I'm warning you now to prepare for the onslaught of JFK Assassination 50th Anniversary crap about to be shoved down your gullet by Nov. 22. This, however, looks pretty dang good: Parkland, the movie.

   *I don't trust drivers of cars missing hubcaps. They generally tend to not be capable of using a turn signal. If you're driving around with a car missing a hubcap and just haven't gotten around to replacing it, I suggest you are lazy, irresponsible and will shortly after reading this go out and casually break one or more traffic laws before the sun sets. In fact, I trust people who text and drive about cars missing hubcaps more than I trust cars without hubcaps.

   *This weekend: Saturday morning is tennis, followed by likely the last pool-party bash of the summer. Will I labor on Labor Day? Tune in to find out. Don't be a stranger.

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Rangers Win, Walk-Off and Waaaay Over-Celebrate

   Is it just me, or is baseball the most over-celebrating of all sports?
   The Rangers did it again last night, beating the Disastros 5-4 and - in what feels like a regular occurrence this month - producing walk-off drama. This time it was Elvis Andrus.
   Bailing out a Tanner Scheppers 8th-inning meltdown (a walk, two wild pitches and two hit batters in 20 offerings) that channeled the days of Mitch "Wild Thing" Williams, Elvis cockily, comically flipped his bat at the sight of his 250-foot, can-o'-corn popout that was just enough to drive home Adam Rosales with the head-first, sliding, winning run.
   As has become baseball custom - CLUE #6: "at" - Elvis was absolutely mobbed. Jersey torn off. Pulled around the infield by his undershirt, sliding helplessly on his butt. I'm sure a post-game pie in the face or Gatorade bucket dump punctuated the proceedings.
   Granted, there's a lot to celebrate these days for the Rangers.

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   They have gained a whopping 8.5 games on the A's in just 23 days, turning a 6-game deficit on July 29 into a 2.5-game lead as you awake this morning.
   And, is it too soon to mention magic numbers? Okay, then I won't tell you that Texas' is down to 37.
   The Rangers are just plain fun. They lead baseball with 40 come-from-behind wins and I think that's their fifth walk-off version. I admit to being on the edge of my seat as they put the winning run in scoring position in the 9th. Beating the worst team in baseball (history?) is hardly a feat. And a lazy flyball to left is hardly a heroic individual accomplishment.
   But the Rangers celebrate wins in mid-August as much as they have victories in early October. Their mobile mosh-pit madness certainly trumps reactions to wins by the Mavs (who play half as many games with double the importance) or the Cowboys (who play only 16).
   No doubt the Rangers over-celebrate. And no doubt it's fantastic theater.

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Rangers' Reaction to Massive Slump: Trade Joe Nathan?

   The Rangers are mired in a massive, season-staining offensive drought. They're scoring less than Johnny Manziel at a UT frat party.
   It's bad. Real bad. And it's caused the Rangers to get mad, call meetings and ... consider trading their best player.
   As the Rangers return home tonight to face the Anaheim Angels - with a .220-hitting Josh Hamilton and without injured Albert Pujols - they'll drag with them one of their worst slumps in franchise history. Their offense has dried up worse than Betty White's uterus.
   The listless bats bottomed-out in Cleveland over the weekend. Back-to-back shutouts. No runs in 21 innings. Only eight hits in their last 68 at-bats. They're 2-8 since the All-Star break, punctuated by Mitch Moreland's 2-for-36 funk.
   Add it all up and the Rangers are suddenly as close to third place as they are to first, trailing the Oakland A's by six games.

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   After the game manager Ron Washington had seen enough of nothing, calling a closed-door team meeting for almost an hour. "Sleep-walking," he said of his team.
   Last time this happened, it worked. A similar meeting on June 16 resulted in Texas winning nine of 11. But this time, more drastic measures may be needed. Bringing in Matt Garza is one thing, but without any offense the Rangers won't sniff the post-season, much less catch the A's.
   As the trade deadline inches within three days, one of the moves the Rangers are reportedly pondering is to trade closer Joe Nathan. If you believe Joakim Soria can close or if you believe Neftali Feliz will be effective when he returns in mid-August then it makes sense to trade your 38-year-old arm for a bat that will serve as paddles resurrecting the offense's failing heart.
   On the surface trading Nathan sounds kooky, but not nearly as unfathomable as reliever Tanner Scheppers' weekend in Cleveland. While he said he was "sucker punched," witnesses tell a tale of him simply "losing a bar fight."
   Whether it's meetings, or changes of scenery, or bar fights, or trading players or simply facing the best offensive player in franchise history, the Rangers need to snap out of it in July or else they will prematurely ruin September.

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WHITT'S END 7.5.13

      Whether you're at the end of your rope or merely the end of your week, welcome to Whitt's End

   *Dwight Howard, holed up in Aspen, Colorado, could decide his free-agent destination as early as today. Considering his fickle DNA and theatrical flair, however, he'll milk it into next week. Even Whataburger is a player in the drama, Tweeting this week: You can't pass up the chance to move to a Whataburger state. #dwight2houston Of course, um, Mavs fans in the Metroplex want Howard and their Whataburger as well. Someone in the restaurant chain's PR department has some 'splainin' to do.

   *Joey Chestnut won his seventh consecutive Fourth of July Hot Dog Eating contest yesterday, engulfing 69 in 10 minutes. His official stat line: 20,010 calories, 1,173 grams of fat, 48,990 milligrams of sodium and 759 grams of protein, all consumed in less time than it will take you to digest "Whitt's End". Competitive eating is Chestnut's only job, one that earns him $200,000 a year. God Bless America.

   *Fourth of July traditions in my family always included golf, watermelon and, of course, fireworks. I once held a Roman Candle backward, firing it into my stomach and leaving me with a blackened belly button for days. But my most ridiculous incident with festive explosives occurred when a junior-high buddy and I hatched a brilliant plan to flirt with the neighbor girls. The strategy: We'd light a 100-count strand of Black Cat firecrackers, open his bedroom window and toss them over the fence and into the girls' backyard. Surely that would get their attention and make us cool. Ready ... 3 ... 2... 1 ... Ohcrapweforgotthereisascreenonthewindow!!! The Black Cats simply bounced off the screen like a trampoline, landing in the middle of our bedroom and commencing four minutes of explosions that resonated through our house. Parents were none too happy and the ringing in my ears didn't stop until last week.

   *Huge comeback last night for the Rangers. Down 3-1 and in danger of getting swept by the horrible Seattle Mariners, they rallied for four runs in the 7th to escape. Couple strange sights. When Nelson Cruz made a catch on the warning track in right field in the 9th he did so just in front of a huge Gulf advertising banner on the wall. Gulf? There are none near my house in McKinney and only two in Dallas. Weird, thought their gas stations went the way of Braniff Airlines. And then to this Phiten fad that just won't die. In fact, now even manager Ron Washington and 74-year-old bench coach Jackie Moore are wearing the bulky, woven necklaces that are supposed to enhance your energy and stabilize your karma or somesuch. In a word, hooey. We're such suckers. Me included. I once bought a Pet Rock in the '80s. But now it's those Power Balance rubber bracelets with a magical hologram. Fake. And, sure enough, Phiten necklaces? Fake. One of the strongest products in the world is invisible: The Placebo Effect.

   *So I'm shopping on Wednesday and there is a Mom walking the aisles, being followed by two girls that appear to be 15-ish. Thing was, the teens were holding hands. I mean, like, lovingly, affectionately holding hands. Was it just innocent friendship or ... ? I followed them - creepy, right? - around one corner and when Mom turned around to tell them something they quickly and abruptly disengaged hands. Friendship? Or ...

   *Hot.

   *Not.

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   *Fourth of July fireworks provided by the guys who play on ... ice? Yep, the Dallas Stars pulled off a big trade yesterday, sending forward Loui Eriksson to the Boston Bruins for forward Tyler Seguin, center Rich Peverly and defenseman Ryan Button. While Eriksson was one of the few recognizable names remaining in an organization that has been completely gutted, you gotta give credit to the new braintrust of general manager Jim Nill/head coach Lindy Ruff. They are trying to fix what is broken.

   *This is very cool. Gym teacher wore the same outfit on his school's picture day for 40 straight years. Makes you go "Oh, I wanna do tha ... Damn, too late." Right?

   *During the Rangers' game on Fox Sports Southwest last night they displayed the results of a poll on what fans preferred on the Fourth. 52% responded "Watch the Rangers." About an hour later on the Colorado Rockies' telecast the same poll netted a leading answer (45%) of "Watch fireworks." Baseball town, anyone?

   *Props to Pops. My dad, who's a spry, young 73, now regularly shoots his age on the golf course. Been playing with him since I was about 7. Hundreds of rounds together. And I can count the times I've beaten him on one hand. Whipped me by seven strokes last week at Stonebriar Country Club in Frisco.

   *Buddy of mine went to Pappadeaux restaurant this week and reported something genius. When the waiter brought out crayons for the kids, they were flat-sided. As in, no more rolling off the table and onto the floor and "Mom, can you get my ... " whining. How'd that take us so long?

   *ESPN does a lot of things wrong, mainly its refusal to admit when it gets beat on a story. But props to the network for its segment featuring soldiers coming home from war to be reunited with their families. Despite Daughtry's "Coming Home" it was riveting, moving stuff.

   *Two things us men just can't seem to find: 1. Jimmy Hoffa's body; 2. A woman's G-Spot.

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   *For months I suffered from extremely tight calf muscles. When I tried to run I'd strain one, or the other, or both. I did what I thought was a lot of stretching, but nothing helped. From December to May I was uncomfortable to the point of often not playing tennis or going on jogs with Sybil out of fear of injury. Then something so simple cured me: Foam roller. That's right, I just began spending about five minutes a day on the round, hard-foam roller and, within a week, I was 75% better. Now, good as new. I guess the pressure from the roller forced the gunk out of my muscles, allowing them to actually stretch and loosen. Whatever, I wholly recommend them.

   *If the Mavs don't land Howard what's the big-man Plan B? Cross Al Jefferson and Tiago Splitter off the list. Jefferson will sign with the Charlotte Bobcats, while Splitter re-upped with the San Antonio Spurs. You know what means and you're probably not going to like it: Andrew Bynum. Remember him?

   *Lots of things I don't understand in life. At the top of that list is how wheels on a car rotating really fast forward look like they're somehow spinning backward. And how just one bite of asparagus can transform your pee so incredibly pungent.

   *If you miss me on radio, sorry. For now my words are only here. If you miss Sybil on the radio, you can itch that scratch Monday 1-3 p.m. on her new home, 103.7 KVIL.

   *Ever said "Well, he ain't exactly a Mensa member"? This weekend you can prove it when the American Mensa Society holds its 51st Annual gathering in Fort Worth. If you think you're a smarty pants you can take the exam Saturday morning at The Worthington Hotel.

   *Wondering if this site's traffic would dip after the opening-week debut centering around The Hard Lie 2? Of course it has. But, pleasantly surprisingly, not too much. Last two weeks we've averaged 60,000 pageviews per week, which is enough to keep the lights on. Thank you. Strangest stat? Just this week DFWSportatorium.com has received unique visitors from Germany, Canada, Mexico, Colombia, Dominican Republic, France, United Kingdom, India and Japan. Shout out, wherever this may find you.

   *This weekend? A little tennis Saturday morning, followed by a college graduation party that night. On Sunday let's trek to JoCoMoFo to visit dear ol' mom and dad. A pre-party of sorts, because a certain someone turns 49 on Monday. Don't be a stranger.

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