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Tuesday, September 3, 2013

Who Roots For Whom? My Guide to Fan Profiling in the Metroplex

   The Rangers have held their opponent to five runs or less in 30 consecutive games.
   With 25 games remaining in the regular season, the Rangers are tied for first place in the AL West.
   So why did I get this email from a fan this morning in the wake of Monday's 4-2 loss to the Oakland A's?
   Rangers are done. Stick a fork in 'em. Sorry, but you don't have us to kick around anymore.
   I'll tell you why. Because - by far - Rangers fans are the most sensitive of all Metroplex sports rooting bases. There's an inferiority complex born out of being the only local team without a championship trophy horn to toot. (I get it, 41 years without a title will erode the thickest of skin.) There's a doomsday mindset of "Crap, here we go again" at the faintest hint of a losing streak.
   And, most of all, because Rangers fans are the most possessive about their team. If anybody's gonna write them off it will be - first and foremost - their own fans.
   I know. Weird.
   The Rangers - even without steroid slugger Nelson Cruz - got back into this race by going almost a month (24 games from Aug. 4 - Sept. 2) without playing a game against a team with a winning record. Down the stretch they'll have to be better as 15 of their final 25 are against teams with +.500 records.
   Their fans will also have to be better.
   Not so knee-jerky and, let's face it, not so jerky.
   During a game against the Seattle Mariners last week Elvis Andrus was called out for running outside the lane to first base. He was clearly out, yet he began arguing. And here comes manager Ron Washington, running onto the field and halting to play to challenge the call and likely protect his player from arguing.
   I Tweeted that it was nonsensical and archaic to allow a coach to run on the field for ... anything. I offered that if anyone needed to protect a player, it should be the coach already on the field standing right next to him - in that case first-base coach Dave Anderson.
   The feedback I received was exclusionary, high, hard and inside.
   "No wonder you no longer have a radio show."
   It dawned on me that Rangers fans - and I've been one since their arrival in 1972 - are not only simple and sensitive, but scared. Of change. Of having their sacred traditions challenged. Of having their unwritten rules edited. Of anything that isn't familiar and comfortable.
   Armed with these insults and information, I did some serious silly stereotyping. I created the tongue-in-cheek typical traits, behavior and preferences via fan-base profiles ...


  1. That was outstanding, Richie!!

  2. As someone who only has a rooting interest in the Rangers but also lives here in DFW, the new and improved Rangers' fan is so whiny and entitled that it makes me sick.

    Every Ranger should be hitting .350.
    Every pitcher should be going into the 8th inning with 1 run or less given up.
    Every game has a scapegoat, unless they win. Then, that person is the greatest player to have ever put on cleats.

    Just remember, Ranger fans...there are a lot of fans out there who would have taken someone's life just to go to back to back World Series. Sure, you can be upset that you didn't win it...I would too. But back off the ledge a bit and watch the damn games!

  3. RW...

    You forgot to add Southlake to the city for the Stars fan. Simple oversight I'm sure. The rest is right on point. Racist...(Ha! :))

    Ranger Fan from Frisco


  4. 52 Years without a championship. The Rangers still have the Washington Senator pedigree. Go A's!!!!! Bill2455

  5. If I hadn't known you were describing a Maverick fan, I would have sworn you were describing Sybil with that one.

  6. Mr. Whitt, This by far is your funniest piece of work.

  7. That's some pretty good stuff, Richie.

    The Rangers Fan is an interesting guy. He's more knowledgeable of his team than the other fans. Mavericks Fan and Cowboys Fan have the same basic conversations about Dirk and Romo every time they speak. Rangers Fan on the other hand knows about BABIP, OPS, and WAR, knows the minor league rosters, and knows the nuances of every rule from the balk to the various foul ball rules in domed stadiums.

    Armed with all that knowledge, Rangers Fan takes to the Internet to bitterly declare the season over every time the Rangers miss out on a trade. Every time Nelson Cruz strikes out. Every time Ian Kinsler pops out. Every time Yu Darvish clutches his arm in pain.

    Meanwhile, the Cowboys Fan, armed with absolutely no knowledge about anything other than that Romo is the QB and the O-Line sucks, confidently declares that the Cowboys will win the NFC East.

    1. Hey Rob M..

      Half the fans at Rangers ball part go win or lose and know as much about baseball as you do about Cowboys much.