WHITT'S END: 9.18.13

      Whether you're at the end of your coffee, your day, your week or even your rope, welcome to Whitt's End

   *Jason Garrett admits "We haven't run the ball well enough and we haven't ran the ball enough." DeMarco Murray suggests "It's something the coaches are going to have to talk about and discuss." Despite the change to Bill Callahan as play-caller and a supposed shift of emphasis to the running game, Tony Romo has thrown 91 passes through two games (4th-most in the NFL). There are 15 running backs and 1 quarterback with more rushing yards than your Cowboys. At what point does Murray shoulder some of the blame? I detail the problems over at NBC 5's Blue Star Blog.

   *Sure, Rangers. Erupt for seven runs with spot-starter Alexi Ogando on the mound after giving ace Yu Darvish absolutely nada in consecutive 1-0 losses. Any win is a good win - especially when it snaps a seven-game losing streak and bolsters Wild Card hopes. But, seriously, don't you think Yu witnessed all those crooked numbers on the scoreboard and grumbled "What the what?!" under his breath? In Japanese. So, something like ... screw it, I don't know Japanense.

   *Lots of dangers on a football field. Ants aren't supposed to be one of them. Sad.

   *Johnny Goofball has won me over, at least as a football player. Sure he had a couple of throw-it-up-for-grabs lucky completions against Alabama. But it was pure skill and elite athleticism that even put him in a position to be lucky. And in two games against Nick Saban's vaunted defense, Manziel has completed 73% of his passes for 907 yards and seven touchdowns. That's legit. He's a bigger, better Doug Flutie. And that ain't bad.

   *I root against Walter White. He's a bad person who makes careless decisions and profits from putting deadly drugs on the streets. And I root for Will McAvoy. He's a fair person who makes educated decisions and spews truths about being a Republican in 2013:

The problem is now I have to be homophobic. I have to count the number of times people go to church. I have to deny facts and think scientific research is a long con. I have to think poor people are getting a sweet ride. And I have to have such a stunning inferiority complex that I fear education and intellect in the 21st Century. But most of all, the biggest new requirement, really the only requirement, is that I have to hate Democrats. And I have to hate Chris Christie for not spitting on the President when got off Air Force One.

   I know it's chic to get really emotional about A&E's gripping show, but to me The Newsroom > Breaking Bad. Smart and clever beats bold and violent on my TV every time. Even though it was clear Aaron Sorkin's latest episode was written as a series finale - Will proposes to MacKenzie, etc. - I'm thrilled the show will return to HBO for a third season next spring.

   *Hot.

   *Not.

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   *Look who I found. Had the TV on Fox Sports Southwest after the Rangers last night and, yep, there's Dave Barnett. He was hosting some some show called Icons of Coaching. Great to see him in front of the camera. One of the strangest chapters in Rangers' history was his episode in San Diego on June 18, 2012, in which his brain briefly went haywire and he babbled for 15 seconds about a "botched robbery", "henchmen" and "fifth" base. Barnett went on medical leave, underwent a battery of tests that answered nothing (scary), then was fired as the team's broadcaster and replaced by the voice you hear today, Steve Busby.

   *Rowdy - the huge sports nut, not the Cowboys' mascot - has been a friend/fan for years now. Loved him some RAGE. Still loves him some Mavs and Rangers. He's got his own web site which ain't half-bad. And he's got an interesting take on GM Jon Daniels and his fave baseball team. Goes something like this.

   *I've actually heard football fans criticizing Wisconsin for its handling of the late-game clock in the controversial loss to Arizona State. No friggin' way. Setting up for a game-winning field goal, Wisconsin's quarterback took a knee and placed the ball on the ground. The referees, inexplicably, allowed an Arizona State player to dive on the ball and generally waste 10 seconds milling about before lining up. Pure robbery. The Pac 12 agrees, and publicly reprimanded the officials. Not sure there's any other way to see it.

   *If you have "controversial" in front of your chosen profession of "boxing judge," you probably should step down. Especially if you watched Mayweather-Alvarez ringside and somehow scored it a draw.

   *After eight days in which they never even led, Rangers had one of those nights last night in Florida. Rays' bombs detonated on the warning track. Leonys Martin fisted an opposite-field double that squirted just inside the bag at third. Rangers tied a tourniquet on the hemorrhaging. It happens. And it was long overdue.

   *Speaking of baseball, I think batters should be forced to wear their protective armor on the bases if they're going to wear it at the plate. No getting to 2nd and then calling timeout to take off a junkyard worth of pads and plastic.

   *For Halloween you can totally dress up as a dead, bloody, ravaged human. But a dead dog as prop? Poor taste. Department stores like Wal-Mart, Sears and Amazon began pulling a grotesque, skinned dog-on-a-chain prop after animal activists pressured them to stop selling even the thought of fake animal cruelty. Even in my warped mind there is a line, and this crossed it.

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   *Just because we're Whitt's End-ing it this week doesn't mean I've forgotten what day it is. No, not hump day. It's White Truck Wednesday, fool. Well, isn't it? Damn sure is. For example, a drunk driver slammed into several parked cars in his ... White Truck.

   *Ron Washington says he's concerned about his job. Should be. I'm not saying he should be fired. As I've noted before, his bats and his arms have been depleted by off-season moves, suspensions and injuries. But at some point we've got to look at Wash as the skipper of a ship that choked in the '11 World Series, that choked away the AL West in '12 and is in the process of choking away the playoffs in '13. Since their epic loss in Game 6 to the Cardinals, the Rangers are 18-31 in September-October.

   *Turns out I'm a horrible judge of character. Ex-wife. Former radio partner. Friend to whom I loaned money. And business partner. Too trusting I am.

   *Actual Tweet from my brother - @RogerRabbit08 - in the wake of Chiefs 17, Cowboys 16: I hate the Cowboys. Why can nothing ever go right? Ugh. I hate life. He'll be watching Sunday. Gare-Rown-Teed.

   *Heard a guy today refer to it as a "commode." When did it change to being a "toilet"? Begs the question, why does shit gotta change?

   *Today? Off to Fort Worth for Pizza Buzzin'. Tonight I'll try to catch up on Jon Stewart and Daniel Tosh while keeping an eye on a potential Rangers' winning streak. Don't be a stranger.

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WHITT'S END: 9.17.13

      Whether you're at the end of your coffee, your day, your week or even your rope, welcome to Whitt's End

   *Shots fired. Bodies drop. And here we go again. In the wake of Monday's Navy Yard shooting in D.C. that killed 12, I actually heard on TV and read on Twitter the repeated, ridiculous rhetoric of "guns aren't the problem" or even "Go guns!" The latest mass shooting occurred at a military base where there are numerous armed guards. So no, more guns don't equate to less shooting. Think about how absurd that is in the first place. To protect folks from getting fat, let's provide even more forks! I'm tired of writing the same ol' argument and having it fall on the same ol' deaf, dumb ears. Instead, I'll just link to the last time this happened. Waaay back in ... December. And, yes, there will be a next time. Enjoy your precious 2nd Amendment. Good luck ignoring the dead bodies littered at your free feet.

   *Cowboys under Jason Garrett: 22-20 overall. 29 of 42 decided by 7 points or less. 15-14 in nail-biters. Moral to the story: Get used to it. My full story over at NBC 5's Blue Star Blog.

   *Take heart, Longhorns. There's a big-time college football program in worse shape than yours. Up in Nebraska, Huskers Nation is reeling this morning. First, there was the home loss to UCLA last Saturday in which they were out-scored 31-0 in the second half. Beloved alum Tommie Frazier is off the bandwagon, saying "This crap is getting old. If this is what is going to happen for the remainder of the season, count me out." Head coach Bo Pellini shrugged off Frazier - that's like shrugging off Vince Young in Austin - by saying "so be it." But the coach won't so easily evade the sting of his recorded 2011 comments when he lambasted Nebraska's crowd for leaving prematurely in a comeback win over Ohio State. "Our crowd," Pellini said, "what a bunch of fucking fair-weather fuckers." You can get away with a lot as head coach of a college football team. You cannot, however, survive cussing your own fans. He's a dead man coaching.

   *Cowboys' cliff-hangers are bad for your heart, but good for TV ratings. Sunday afternoon their game vs. KC earned a 25.2 rating. Rangers-A's got only a 1.9. In terms of homes that were watching the games it was a complete blowout: 650,000 to 50,000.

   *I understand desperate times demand desperate actions. But Ian Kinsler's base-running blunders last night zoomed past aggressive into reckless. He made silly outs on between the bases twice, including a half-kinda-sorta attempt to fake like he was stealing home, only to be caught in a rundown. No matter what style of baseball you play, it's gotta be grounded in smarts. Rangers are obviously playing bad. And Monday night they played dumb.

   *Hot.

   *Not.

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   *Did I miss something? Did a fan - or player - at football game recently die via lightning strike? Otherwise, what's with all the weather delays at football games? I remember a fan being struck and dying at a NASCAR race last summer. Are we being prudent? Over-cautious? Or did lightning somehow become more prevalent and dangerous in the last two years? And I get the players leaving the field, but where exactly are 80,000 fans supposed to go for their "cover"?

   *I've come to this acute assessment of Matt Garza: He's no Cliff Lee.

   *Doesn't this feel like September 2012 all over again? Seriously. We're bemoaning a Rangers' collapse fueled by an epic offensive funk. We're dissecting a Cowboys' road loss that dropped them to 1-1 and criticizing a stuck-in-the-mud running game. Other than the fact that I'm writing about it on my blog instead of yapping about it on somebody else's radio station, yeah, it's exactly the same.

   *Next time you we scream "Put a skirt on 'em!" after a helmet-to-helmet hit draws a penalty flag, let's remember what's trying to be prevented. Not only life-long brain damage. But also instantaneous death. Like this one over the weekend. A high-school running back in New York took a hit, walked to the sideline, collapsed and ... never regained consciousness.

   *As the copycat league that is the NFL cheats off each other's paper, every offense is now running some form of no-huddle. Let's get this straight: The no-huddle is not to be confused with the hurry-up. It's designed to prevent defenses from changing personnel, but several times the Cowboys on Sunday - and the Steelers last night - snapped the ball with under :03 on the play clock. Weird, but with all the standing around at the line of scrimmage, it feels like the no-huddle is actually slowing things down.

   *Nina Davuluri is beautiful, and she's American. I don't get at all the uproar over the 24-year-old being crowned Miss America. In the wake of her win the Indian was called "Muslim" and "Arab" and "Terrorist." It's as disgusting as it is ignorant. Davuluri graduated from Michigan with a degree in Brain Behavior/Cognitive Science. So she's prettier and smarter than you. Seriously, I pity people who live in fear of anything that's even slightly different than what they see in the mirror.

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   *Well Cowboys fans, at least you're not Redskins fans. Remember that unstoppable offense engineered by the impeccable RGIII RGKnee? Washington is 0-2, and has been out-scored in the first half 50-0. Delicious.

   *Sorry, war hawks, we should not and will not bomb Syria. We're going to contain and control a dictator's stockpile of chemical weapons without firing a single bullet or killing a single person. That's a win. Barack Nobomba. But you just can't accept that, can you?  Remind me again what we won in our wars in Vietnam and Iraq? Because I'll remind you what we lost: 62,706 American soldiers.

   *I know it's chic - if not lazy - to dismiss C.J. Wilson as a "douche." But, don't look now, he won his 17th game last night for a team that's only got 73 wins. And he's doing it with an ERA of 3.36. Those numbers would look pretty good on Texas' staff this season. Or any season.

   *Confused by college football rules more than ever. Saturday in College Station it appeared ball-carriers are allowed to stiff-arm defenders in the head, even to the point of grabbing the would-be tackler's facemask. Right? Defenders, meanwhile, must stop immediately if their helmet comes off. So a defensive tackle who gets an illegal hand to his face by an offensive lineman and has his helmet shoved off faces two options: 1. Stop playing, let the running back zoom past and get potentially benched by his coaches; 2. Get a 15-yard penalty for playing headgear-less. How do you possibly coach that? And the worst is the new targeting penalty. If the referees on the field call a defensive back for helmet-to-helmet targeting, it's a 15-yard penalty and an automatic ejection. But, get this, the ejection can be reviewed and overturned, but not the penalty. What the what?! How can a ref's call on the field be wrong and overturned, yet the penalty yards remain enforced?

   *Brian Waters will start at right guard for the Cowboys this week vs. Rams. Not saying the flaccid running game will be revived. But it'll be an improvement.

   *Plano East High School. Where football is important. And dead goats are ... funny?

   *Today? Another day pushing the Pizza Buzz rock up the hill. And tonight we'll watch Rangers-Rays again. It's like a decomposing body. Grotesque. Fascinating. Riveting. Don't be a stranger.

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Canine Corner: Butter

  After much success with our "RAGE Rescue" program, we've decided to continue helping local pups find homes by featuring more dogs from DFW Rescue Me. We'll call this blog item "Canine Corner", and we'll post an available dog each week. (Last week's entry was Kendra.)

  Butter is a sweet one-year-old brindle Pit Bull mix. His foster mom says he's such a well-behaved dog, he's the easiest dog she's ever cared for! Butter is already housebroken, neutered and crate-trained. He walks well on a leash and gets along great with dogs of all sizes. Butter is 50-60 pounds, but he thinks he's a lap dog. He loves to cuddle and sit by your side.

  Butter will make someone very happy! To adopt him, please click here.

WHITT'S END: 9.16.13

      Whether you're at the end of your rope or merely the end of your week, welcome to Whitt's End

   *Chiefs 17, Cowboys 16. My Top 10 Whitty Observations.

   *Worst kick-to-the-crotch homestand in Rangers' history? Gotta be close. Jockeying with the A's for the AL West lead when the week started, Texas went 0-6 against the Pirates and Oakland. Rangers didn't lead at any time in the six games. And they didn't hit a single homer, the longest dinger drought ever at Rangers Ballpark. Starting with a four-game series against the Rays tonight, the Wild Card - the playoffs - are suddenly in serious jeopardy.

   *Wait, did I miss CBS's "Johnny Cam"? Or, like Alabama's defense, could the network's solo camera simply not keep up with A&M's frenetic, fantastic quarterback?

   *Saw Toadies play an acoustic set Friday night in Fort Worth at a place called Panther Island on the banks of the Trinity River. Very cool. There's a big, grassy hillside or you can hop in the water on a tube, all with a gorgeous view of downtown. But why Panther Island? Turns out Fort Worth is sometimes called the Panther City. Worked at the Star-Telegram for 18 years and never heard that one.

   *I know it's early, but we may have already witnessed college football's Game of the Year. And I know it's a long shot, but after watching A&M 29, Alabama 24 last year and Alabama 49, Texas A&M 42 last weekend, I wouldn't mind seeing Round 3 in this year's BCS title game.

   *Hot.

   *Not.

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   *Feels so wrong to yawn at 45-0, but that's the brilliance of Floyd Mayweather. His personality is all flash and cash, but inside the ring he's a glitzy rope-a-dope master. No quick, dramatic knockouts. Just superior technical boxing, iced with impenetrable defense. Boring? He's the trash-talking football team that wins all its games 13-3.

   *Including Saturday vs. Oakland, Yu Darvish has lost four 1-0 games this season. Four. Nelson Cruz, all is forgiven.

   *That thud you heard Saturday night wasn't Canelo Alvarez in Vegas, but Texas' football program hitting rock bottom in Austin. In a week in which defensive coordinator Manny Diaz was fired and DeLoss Dodds will reportedly step down after the season, the Longhorns were outscored 27-0 in the second half of another embarrassing loss, this one to Ole Miss. Said Mack Brown, "We can win the Big 12 championship and be excited about that. At this point that's all we got left." Yikes.

   *Reigning Super Bowl MVP Joe Flacco's wife gave birth to the couple's second child Sunday morning. The quarterback was informed as he warmed-up for Baltimore's game against the Browns. As I've said before, it's totally the right call. I took a lot of heat when I first broached this subject during Colby Lewis' paternity leave in 2011, but I think y'all are starting to come around on it now. We pay money to see great quarterbacks, not good Dads.

   *Bar. Car. Far. Gar. Jar. Mar. Par. Tar. In the English language we pronounce them all the same. As it should be. But then there's War. Totally different. Completely illogical. Instead of like the other members of its consonant-preceding-ar family, why the heck does w-a-r rhyme with o-a-r?

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   *A sign of things to come in Fort Worth. We're still hiring drivers at Pizza Buzz. Come on in. Or just say hello. Won't be delivering pizza and beer for another two weeks, but we're shaking hands and making friends daily at 5418 Basswood in Fort Worth.

   *After his blocked field goal in Kansas City Sunday, let's update the tote board of Orlando Scandrick's positive plays as a Cowboy. That's ... 1.

   *'Bama-Aggies drew a 9.0 on CBS, the networks's biggest college football audience since Miami-Notre Dame in 1990. Though they lost after leading 14-0, A&M earned a ton of respect. The Tide rolled into College Station and didn't feel comfortable about winning until their 49th point.

   *Why Whitt's End on a Monday? And tomorrow, on a Tuesday? It's like this. We've been in business here for three months now and in surveying my customers' habits, it's clear you guys gobble up my Friday wrap-up. If DFWSportatorium is a buffet, it's by far the No. 1 seller under the sneeze guard. I asked the boss in the mirror if we could experiment with the idea of a daily Whitt's End, so let's give it a try.

   *Today: I'm headed out to Pizza Buzz for some (more) last-minute tweaking. Sybil will be in Dallas tonight at House of Blues for the taping of Inside the Huddle with Jason Hatcher. Don't be a stranger.

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WHITT'S END: 9.13.13

      Whether you're at the end of your rope or merely the end of your week, welcome to Whitt's End

   *As the Rangers fall into the funk of another September Swoon, don't even start with blaming manager Ron Washington. His offense was decimated in the off-season (Josh Hamilton, Mike Napoli, Michael Young), further diluted during the season (Nelson Cruz) and his pitching staff (Colby Lewis, Neftali Feliz, Matt Harrison, Alexi Ogando) has suffered significant injuries. Right? Even if they sweep the A's in Arlington over the weekend, Rangers will be in second place come Monday morning.

   *I've been watching/remembering football since 1970 and Thursday night I witnessed a first. An amazing, incredible, improbable first. Louisiana Tech kicker Kyle Fischer made a 25-yard field goal by banking the ball off both uprights. Left. Right. Through. Most unlikely three points in the history of college football. Think about it. An oblong-spheroid football - traveling end over end, mind you - bouncing 90-degree sideways off a small, round piece of metal. The "flat" surfaces of both objects are minuscule and to have them meet just right is ... I'd love to see that Sports Science nerd or Bill Nye re-create this one. Seriously, could Dan Bailey turn that trick if he tried? Off the left upright. Then off the right upright Then through the goal post, but landing on the ground left of the original target, the left upright. No way. I'd bet him $1 a try for as long as he wanted to try. What Fischer did is the bowling equivalent of converting a 7-10 split, with an egg-shaped ball. We just saw the Halley's Comet of football. Once in our lifetime.

   *I'm all for cracking down on choreographed end-zone dances in the NFL, but the fine levied for Barry Church's touchdown celebration is ridiculous. His crime? Throwing the football into the stands. His punishment? $5,250. Allowing balls tossed into the crowd is one thing baseball has right over the other sports.

   *I know this is a stretch, but give me Mayweather over Alvarez Saturday night at the MGM in Vegas. He's 44-0 because he is the best defensive player in all of sports. Too quick and agile to ever get a clean hit on his cocky mug.

   *Alabama 37, Texas A&M 28. Even though it's impossible to root for Nick Prick Saban.

   *Remember all the back-to-back-to-back walk-off fireworks at Rangers Ballpark in August? Feels like years ago, eh? The Rangers have lost their way in the West because they suck at home. After getting swept by the Pirates they're only 39-32 in Arlington, but 15-16 since July 1. The A's at home? 47-27.

   *Strange Thursday night in college football. The above-mentioned field goal and, in Lubbock, a fox ran onto the field during Tech-TCU. No, not a hot girl from the '70s. An actual animal. (Come to think of it, never seen that before either.) It prompted Sybil and I to wonder - an then attempt to mimic - the sound a fox makes. She went with a sort of growl-meow. I offered the high-pitch, low-volume howl. Are we close? Or, on second thought, are foxes too sly to make a noise at all?

   *Wanna hear a horrible idea? Let's spend $15,000 to add a technological tweak to a "Whites Only" water fountain in Dallas as a reminder as to why we took them down in the first place. No, let's don't.

   *Hot.

   *Not.

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   *Sorry, but if you have yourself tricked into Triskaidekaphobia - fear of Friday the 13th - then we're probably not going to be friends. Life is hard enough without being irrationally scared out of your shorts by inanimate things that have zero potential of endangering you. One of my pet peeves is being weak-minded, as in, falling for crap like superstition and phobias and knocking on wood and, yes, karma. But I've got my fingers crossed behind my back as I type this. Just in case.

   *Thanks to all you who attended our official Launch Party last Saturday night at Baby Dolls. Even the guy who brought his Rangers' koozie, and bought it a lap dance. "Dude," he told me, "I don't go anywhere without it. It's good luck." Man, humans are weird.

   *The sex, drugs and cheating at Oklahoma State isn't shocking at all. Surprising part of the scandal? That T. Boone Pickens and Dez Bryant somehow escaped being implicated in any way, shape or form. Good for them.

   *Is it just me, or does Lorde's "Tennis Courts" and Matt and Kim's "Cameras" have the same beat?

   *Really, Tech? Storming the field after beating TCU? The 1-loss Frogs were ranked 24th and favored by only three. Not worthy. Sorry. You know what should have happened after the game? Fans should have walked up and thanked the referees. For a blown illegal fair-catch call that negated a Frogs' punt-return touchdown. And for an interference call on a Tech punt return that turned what should have been a Raiders' fumble into Tech possession plus a 15-yard penalty. Atrocious.

   *I know this sounds like a broken record, but I talked again today with a source heavily involved in a new all-sports radio station set to launch in DFW. He says the wheels are in still in motion. That the idea is alive and kicking. AM dial. 50,000 watts. "Guy talk." But, at this point, I'll believe it when I see hear it.

   *A commenter on this blog referred to me last week as a "pussy." Pretty sure he meant it in a derogatory way. But it got me to thinking. Shouldn't "pussy" be the ultimate compliment a man can give someone? We think about it all day. We crave it. We honor it, put it on a pedestal. We long to spend our days ogling photos and videos of it. We lie, steal, cheat and work 80-hour weeks to be able to afford it. We've fought wars over it. Yet somehow being called "pussy" is supposed to hurt my feelings? Calling someone a "big pussy" should be a way of acknowledging that he's one of the most admired, respected people on the planet. Of course we're also the people who bestow compliments such as "You're the shit." Man, he repeated, humans are weird.

   *Twitter has filed preliminary IPO paperwork to take the company to the stock market. It has less than $1 billion in annual revenue. I'm so dumb I don't understand how it has any revenue. Never seen an ad on Twitter. You?

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   *One day I'm watching these lucky Lottery winners on TV and one of the guys has on a T-Shirt that says "Keep Calm ... Chive On." Didn't understand, but didn't think much of it. Until, that is, I'm watching JumboJerry last Sunday night at AT&T Stadium. During a timeout they're scanning the crowd for hot chicks and - bam - a buh-NAN-uh in a "Keep Calm ... Chive On!" T-Shirt. So I investigated. Damn. Gotta get me one of those shirts.

   *Reminded last night that Bill Belichick is an all-time jerk. There was a skirmish at the end of Patriots-Jets and two New York linemen - Willie Colon and D'Brickashaw Ferguson - were ejected. Happened in the final minute and all that's left was one Tom Brady kneel-down and game over. But, nooo, Belidick is insistent that the two ejected Jets are made to literally leave, forced to run from their bench across the field to the locker-room tunnel. Because, as we all know, Belichick is such a stickler for rules. Unless, of course, he's setting up secret cameras to spy on other teams' practices. Then his morals are a tad more flexible. How does anybody root for that guy?

   *Those stubbornly clinging to the notion that baseball is still America's Pastime must cringe at this. The Olympics just reinstated wrestling over baseball. Wrestling! Ouch.

   *Always said I wouldn't mind living in Scandinavia, and now I know why. First, those neutral countries are never involved in world conflict. Second, they're the happiest nations on the planet. Perhaps 1 begats 2, no? A new study says the happiest countries in the world are 1. Denmark; 2. Norway; 3. Switzerland; 4. Netherlands; 5. Sweden. The U.S. came in at No. 17. Now get back to work and worry some more on how we can fix Syria's problems!

   *Didn't take race-baiting columnist/blowhard Jason Whitlock long to get into trouble at ESPN. In commenting on Sports Illustrated's fantastic Oklahoma State scandal story this week, Whitlock said of author Thayer Evans: "Let me end by saying this and I honestly mean this without malice. It wouldn't shock me if Thayer Evans couldn't spell "cat" and I say that in all seriousness." In all seriousness? Really? Does Whitlock have any idea how stupid it makes him look to think that an elite investigative journalist can't spell a three-letter household word? Sounds like somebody's pissed a big story got broken right under their nose.

   *A man - Houston attorney Tony Buzbee - paid a record $115,000 for a Texas A&M "12th Man" license plate. Even though he's giving it to an A&M war veteran, that's an Aggie joke, right? $115,000?!

   *If Mark Sanchez played quarterback for the Jaguars would we even know he was hurt? Instead, ESPN is reading his texts, displaying anatomy diagrams and breathlessly reporting every detail about his shoulder injury. He's a below-average quarterback on a mediocre team. Not interested.

   *Dead 'n Gone: TV theme songs. I grew up singing along to Gilligan's Island ("Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale ... ") and Cheers (" ... where everybody knows your name ... "). These days I love Dexter and Breaking Bad, but I don't know one word of their opening songs. Why? 'Cuz there aren't any. I guess True Blood ("I wanna do bad things with you ... ") is the exception. Speaking of openings, what do we think of Carrie Underwood's Sunday Night Football routine? Feels uncomfortable at first, but I betcha by December we won't remember how ol' whatzhername's version sounded.

   *What's former Stars' star Mike Modano up to these days? Crafting his own beer. Called "561", after the number of goals he scored in the NHL. Very cool.

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   *So let me get this straight: Football is a violent game played by tough Gladiators that ... wear wigs? Watching the Red Zone channel last Sunday I was taken aback by all the long hair sticking out from helmets and down backs. Since we never notice that "in-between" length on these players, we have to believe they're wearing hair extensions, right? Man, he recited for a third time, humans are weird. Then he looked in the mirror, remembered that he underwent two hair transplant surgeries, has an appointment for a fresh frosting of the tips Saturday morning, mumbled something about "you" and "weirder" and trundled off to bed.

   *I got my eye on a new iPhone 5s. The fingerprint lock is muy bueno. And, speaking of technology, when Tweetdeck died about a month ago I fiddled around with alternatives like Tweetbot, etc. Final choice: Regular ol' Twitter. It's perfectly fine on my phone. Who knew?

   *You'd think one Leon Lett Super Bowl highlight or the memory of DeSean Jackson's Monday Night Football gaffe would do the trick, but apparently not. Twice this season already I've seen players scoring touchdowns instead drop the football just before crossing the goal line. Happened last night when Tech running back DeAndre Washington took a swing pass and sprinted down the sideline for a key score in a 10-10 game late in the fourth quarter. But inexplicably - trying to look cool, I guess? - he casually dropped the ball at the 1-yard line. I don't want to sound too old-manish here, but does dropping the ball actually in the end zone somehow strip you of street cred? It's gotta be the dumbest, most maddening play in all of sports.

   *Remember the "friend" who I loaned $6,500 to in May? After much consultation I decided to have my attorney send him a demand letter. If he doesn't repay by Oct. 5, it's off to small claims court where it's a no-brainer. I've got our agreement, my work and his excuses all neatly documented. Hate to do it, but I'm left with no choice. If it was $65 or even $650 I'd have more patience, but $6,500 is real money. Right, Pizza Buzz?

   *We hear all these people who "die", see a wonderful bright white light inviting them to Heaven before being yanked back to life on Earth. Ever hear of somebody who temporarily died and reported seeing darkness lit only by searing flames? Didn't think so. How convenient.

   *Speaking of - and wondering about - Pizza Buzz? Yeah, me too. Construction delays/snafus have continually pushed us back. At this point Oct. 1 seems realistic. And, yes, I'm beyond frustrated with starting a business from the ground up. Why didn't anyone warn me? Oh, you tried? Screw me. Being the first restaurant in the Metroplex to deliver pizza and beer will still be a success, it'll just occur after foreplay that has been longer and more expensive than I envisioned. Oct. 1. Knock on wood.

   *Diana Nyad swimming is one thing. But flying across the Atlantic via a bunch of toy balloons? No friggin' way he makes it.

   *How powerful is the NFL? Last week its games were the top-rated show of the week in all 30 of its TV markets. That's how powerful.

   *This weekend? Tonight Sybil and I are going to Dia De Los Toadies at the Panther Island Pavilion in Fort Worth. Never been to this water concert venue, but looking forward to it. Saturday is tennis, followed by 'Bama-A&M. Sunday is Cowboys-Chiefs, capped off by the sold-out Dinner For Justice event, emceed by Sybil and produced by DFWRescueMe. Don't be a stranger.

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Week 3/ 9.12.13: You Betcha

   I'm starting with a mythical bankroll of $10,000, courtesy of my friends at Bodog sports online casino. First of all, because their site is easy to navigate. More importantly, because they're based in Costa Rica and have had minimal success tracking me down in the past.
   I'll analyze games/wagers each weekend and make a pick every Thursday. With any luck, by Christmas it'll be new iPhone 6s for everyone!

   The sports gambling Gods taketh away, and sometimes they giveth back.
   Had no business winning last week's bet - the 49ers minus-4.5 over the Packers. San Francisco was up three points with under two minutes remaining and was driving in Green Bay territory. One more first down and the Niners would've run out the clock. Instead, on a third-down scramble Colin Kaepernick just fell down, setting up a fourth down as the clock tick-tick-ticked.
   Jim Harbaugh's decision? Field goal. Final: 49ers 34, Packers 28. Whew.
   Let's call it even, because in Week 1 I was hosed by a late special-team gaffe.
   I could quit while I'm ahead or ...
   Alabama is gonna roll A&M.
   The Crimson Tide has lost one football game in the past 680 days. 'Bama has won 18 of its last 19 over three seasons.
   The bump in the road: Texas A&M. Nick Saban can downplay revenge all he wants, but the fact that he immediately began playing A&M's 29-24 upset on continuous loop on the TVs in his team's training room after his team beat Notre Dame for the 2012 national title says otherwise.
   Alabama will be ready. And Alabama is clearly the better team.
   The Tide has three new starters along its offensive line, but with running back T.J. Yeldon it will be able to control the ball, the clock and the game. No doubt that Johnny Goofball will be the best player on the field Saturday in College Station, so Alabama's plan will be to keep him off of it.
   The Aggies' defense is more than vulnerable. I know they were missing three suspended starters, but their first two games have been alarming. A&M surrendered 509 yards to Rice, 390 to Sam Houston State and a combined 59 points to those awful outfits.
   It may be the biggest game in A&M history with record-high ticket prices, but to Saban it's just another loss to avenge. And he's pretty damn good at that. His teams at 'Bama and LSU are 15-2 when facing a team the next time after losing to them. At Alabama he's 7-1 in revenge games, winning by an average of 33-12.
   Alabama will win, and easily cover the 8.

STARTING BANKROLL: $10,000.
CURRENT BANKROLL: $10,400.
SEASON RECORD: 1-1.
LAST WEEK: 1-0.
THIS WEEK: Alabam minus-8 over Texas A&M, $750.

Miles Austin, We've Missed You

   One game into the Cowboys’ season and one thing is abundantly clear: Dez Bryant needs to be mature and Miles Austin needs to be ready.

   As did the New York Giants last weekend, the Kansas City Chiefs this Sunday and the rest of the NFL the remainder of the season, defenses are going to focus their attention on Bryant. The Giants always had a safety lurking and a cornerback in front of Bryant, in what amounted to double-coverage. Bryant held his composure and managed his frustration during a minimally impactful four-catch night.

   “Hey, I got my stats through Witt, through Miles, through Tony and the rest of the other guys,” Bryant said. “The Giants respected me. Everybody across this world knows what I can do. And they know, if the ball is thrown my way, I’m going to get to it. I don’t care if it’s double-coverage, triple or whatever. But we play smart football here. We want to win.”

   The attention to Bryant and future Hall-of-Fame tight end Jason Witten spawns an obvious byproduct: Miles is open.

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   Allowed single-coverage, Austin caught as many first downs as Bryant had total catches, and his 10 grabs were third-most on NFL’s opening weekend behind only Anquan Boldin and Andre Johnson. It was great to see Austin back. It’s imperative that his hamstrings remain healthy and his production stays aloft.

   And not a better place to continue the trend that back where it all started.

   In 2009 Austin was the Cowboys’ third receiver until starter Roy Williams was injured entering Week 5 at Kansas City. So how did Austin respond in his first NFL start on Oct. 11, 2009?

   With a franchise record 250 yards on 10 catches and two touchdowns - most of them against now-Cowboys' corner Brandon Carr - including the 60-yarder in overtime that gave Dallas a 26-20 victory.

   “People bring it up more than I think about it,” Austin said this week at Valley Ranch. “Don’t get me wrong, it was an amazing feeling. I felt like for me personally it was a great way to be able to start and make a splash for the first time offensively. But at the end of the day you realize that my job’s not to talk about what I’ve been doing but to continue to do my best. You kind of snap back into reality on the plane ride home.”
   Austin went on to catch 81 passes for 1,320 yards and 11 scores in making the Pro Bowl. And, it’s been all downhill since.

   Since that breakout game/season, he hasn’t approached 70 catches or caught more than seven touchdowns. His stats and impact yell third receiver, while the six-year, $57 million contract he received in 2010 screams elite No. 1.

   Against the Giants Austin seemed to have his first-step burst back. We know Bryant and Witten will get their catches. If the Cowboys are to exceed expectations, Miles Austin has to return to the days when he got his as well.

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Cowboys Have 87.5% Chance of Playoffs If They Beat Chiefs. Seriously.

   Tony Romo's okay.
   Dez Bryant's fine.
   And starting 2-0 would be ... playofftastic?!
   The good news continues this week at Valley Ranch, where the quarterback and the receiver dodged serious injuries and are expected to play in Week 2 at the Kansas City Chiefs. Add that to the expected season debuts of defensive end Anthony Spencer, offensive lineman Brian Waters and special teams star Danny McCray and there’s reason for genuine optimism early in 2013.

   Now, consider for a moment what beating the Chiefs would do for morale. And the prospects of a post-season appearance.

   Yep, I mentioned it. The playoffs. In September. Why?

   Because by beating the Chiefs the Cowboys would start 2-0 and, according to historical franchise odds, have an 87.5-percent chance of making this year’s playoffs.

   That’s right, in their 54-season history the Cowboys have started a season 2-0 24 times. And 21 of those times the season ended in the playoffs, including Super Bowl wins in ’71, ’77, ’92 and ’95. Of course – famously – the ’93 Cowboys won the Super Bowl despite starting 0-2 during Emmitt Smith’s contract holdout.

   Beating the Chiefs is obviously not a layup. Kansas City smothered the Jacksonville Jaguars in Week 1 and head coach Andy Reid knows the Cowboys’ personnel after all those years in Philadelphia. But if Dallas can win their road opener, the stats and the history suggest they’ll make their first playoff appearance since ’09.

   A look at the Cowboys' 2-0 starts and how they ended ...

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1961    NO    4-9-1   Winless last 7 weeks after QB Don Meredith Injured

1965   YES       7-7   Lost 1st Round

1966   YES  10-3-1   Lost NFL Championship Game

1967   YES        9-5  Lost NFL Championship Game

1968   YES      12-2   Lost Eastern Conference Championship Game

1969   YES  11-2-1   Lost Eastern Conference Championship Game

1970   YES      10-4   Lost Super Bowl V

1971   YES      11-3   Won Super Bowl VI

1972   YES      10-4   Lost NFC Championship Game

1973   YES      10-4   Lost NFC Championship Game

1975   YES      10-4   Lost Super Bowl X

1976   YES      11-3   Lost 1st Round

1977   YES      12-2   Won Super Bowl XII

1978   YES      12-4   Lost Super Bowl XIII

1979   YES      11-5   Lost 1st Round

1981   YES      12-4   Lost NFC Championship Game

1983   YES      12-4   Lost 1st Round

1986    NO        7-9   Started 6-2, QB Danny White Injured

1992   YES      13-3   Won Super Bowl XXVII

1994   YES      12-4   Lost NFC Championship Game

1995   YES      12-4   Won Super Bowl XXX

1999   YES        8-8   Lost 1st Round

2007   YES       13-3  Lost 2nd Round

2008    NO         9-7   Lost Final Two, Including 44-6 at Philly in Finale

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Remembering 9/11: 12 Whitty Observations on the 12th Anniversary

   Yesterday while mapping out my blog items it suddenly dawned on me that today was 9/11.
   I was a little embarrassed that I hadn't thought about it sooner. Or, on second thought, was I glad I hadn't been dreading its arrival?
   In talking to other folks I think it's a common, positive perspective:
   I'll certainly never forget. But I'm also not wallowing.
   Today - 12 years after the terrorist attacks on our country - will be draped by somber, dominated by memories and sprinkled with tears.
   I was in New York both the day before and six weeks after 9/11.

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   12. As I did annually while a columnist for the Fort Worth Star-Telegram, I was in New York for the U.S. Open tennis tournament in 2001. I flew my ex-wife and her son up on Labor Day Weekend for some sightseeing and tennis. We lunched in Central Park, went to the top of the Empire State Building and took the ferry ride around New York Harbor and the Statue of Liberty. The photo of us on 9/2/01 - Twin Towers standing proudly in the background - gives me chills to this day. After writing this story about Lleyton Hewitt's upset of Pete Sampras in the final, I flew out of LaGuardia Airport on Monday, Sept. 10.

   11. Still remember the goose bumps I felt when - after taking a week off - the Cowboys were led out of the tunnel at Texas Stadium by safety George Teague. Carrying an American flag. The Rangers, languishing at 66-78, took a week off between games against the A's. Barry Bonds was on his way to 73 homers. The Cowboys, by the way, were quarterbacked by Quincy Carter.

   10. Never a big fan of George Dubya Bush, but when the President strode confidently to the mound at Yankee Stadium during the World Series after 9/11, I've never felt more proud to be an American.

   9. Silent skies. One of the most eerie byproducts of 9/11 was all air traffic being grounded. Living in the flight path to DFW Airport, the lights and sounds of airplanes is a way of life. But in the wake of the attacks, walking outside to totally empty, quiet skies screamed loudly that things were different. And not at all okay.

   8. I try to remember all the warm 'n fuzzy "United We Stand!" feelings and bumper stickers and flags. But then you get dangerously cut off on the highway by someone who overvalues his time while belittling your safety, and you realize it was - for the most part - just temporary feelings of grandiose patriotism. Sad. These days, we're full-throttle back to "Every Man For Himself!"

   7. Though born with a skeptical DNA, I'm not a big conspiracy theorist. That said, you watch documentaries such as Loose Change and they do raise some legit questions. Why did the second plane to hit the towers - United Airlines Flight 175 - not look like a commercial passenger plane at all? It had fewer, different-shaped windows and a huge, bulky something protruding from its belly. Why was there a distinctive burst of light on the face of the building just before impact? How did American Airlines Flight 77 - a Boeing 757 that was 125 feet wide and 155 feet long - leave only a 16-foot-wide hole in the wall of the Pentagon? And how were there windows - intact and unbroken - as close as 10 feet from the impact of a jet flying 350 mph into a nine-foot-thick wall of reinforced concrete? I don't believe 9/11 was an "inside job." But I'm also sure we don't know all the facts.

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   6. Since 9/11 I've never looked at a uniformed officer, firefighter or soldier the same. I don't always agree with their missions, but I always covet their service. Thanks to all the first responders, then and now. They provide us the freedom to hate the Giants, and to love America's Team.

   5. Honestly? No, I don't feel safer than I did before 9/11. Certainly more inconvenienced. And when we're taking off our shoes and having tubes of hair gel confiscated at the airport, I can't help but think we're still two steps behind the creative terrorists. But it's not those bad guys that I worry about. It's our bad guys. The armed psychopaths living down the street from you and me that inexplicably decide to shoot up movie theaters, and schools, and each other.

   4. I returned to New York on Oct. 30, 2001 to cover Michael Jordan's return to the NBA as a member of the Washington Wizards. Watching him was sad. But walking around the makeshift memorial at Ground Zero was sadder. But sports helped us heal. The games we play and watch can be maddening, scintillating and, yes, therapeutic.

   3. The attacks of 9/11 killed 2,977 people. In 2012 drunk drivers killed 10,136.

   2. It took more than a decade, but we killed Osama bin Laden. And, yes, it's okay to annually celebrate a death (May 2).

   1. Don't wallow. But Never Forget. And, yes, I can't wait to visit Manhattan's new One World Trade Center.

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The Top 10 Greatest All-Time Competitors in the History of Sports

   In watching Monday night's U.S.Open final, I was reminded yet again of the metronome of effort that is Rafael Nadal.
   He never ever never ever never gives up. On a match. On a set. On a game. On a point. On a shot.
   There was a time not long ago when we thought no one in tennis would break Pete Sampras' record of 14 Grand Slams. Then came Roger Federer. And now arrives Rafa.
   One of the greatest competitors in the history of sports, I think Nadal will finish his career with more titles than any player before him. With last night's Open he now has 13. He needs five more to pass Federer. He's only 27 years old.
   You hear athletes talking about "the zone." It's that rarified air of singular focus where mind, body and spirit get so immersed in the moment that if you walked up and asked them for the time you'd get a quizzical look as to what day it was much less the exact time. Or perhaps you'd get a fist full of their intensity right in your distracted kisser.
   Nadal isn't the best player in the history of tennis. But - along with Jimmy Connors - he is the sport's fiercest competitor. He takes his tube of talent and potential, and painstakingly squeezes every ounce of performance from it.
   When elite skill morphs with relentless will, locally we get guys like Bill Bates and Nolan Ryan and J.J. Barea and Emmitt Smith. On a wider scope, you get Rafael Nadal and the rest of the greatest competitors in the history of sports ...

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   10. Derek Jeter - Post-season at-bats are gripping theater.

   9. Jimmy Connors - Worked crowds into frenzy to use as fuel for determination.

   8. Dick Butkus - Took every yard gained as a personal insult.

   7. Bill Russell - So singularly dedicated to rebounding, blocking shots and winning, he forgot offense existed.

   6. Ray Lewis - Lame pre-game dance ritual be damned, his intensity and effort were unprecedented.

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   5. Larry Bird - So gutsy that he made his historic shooting touch his second-best asset.

   4. Rafael Nadal - Plays every point as if food, shelter and survival were at stake.

   3. Tiger Woods - Turned pristine golf courses into his personal fist-pumping grind factories.

   2. Pete Rose - From running over catchers in All-Star Games to lying about betting, always passionate and persistent.

   1. Michael Jordan - Ultimate combo of loving to win, and hating to lose.

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