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Showing posts with label White trucks. Show all posts
Showing posts with label White trucks. Show all posts

Wednesday, October 23, 2013

WHITT'S END: 10.23.13

      Whether you're at the end of your coffee, your day, your week or even your rope, welcome to Whitt's End:

   *Told y'all to chill on the Cowboys' salary-cap panic. I know the rest of the NFL wants to think Jerry Jones is such a financially-handcuffed dufus that he won't be able to even field a team in 2014, but the way out of their perennial predicament is - once again - not all that complicated. I explain over at NBC 5's Blue Star Blog.

   *I'm intrigued by the World Series. Best two fandoms in baseball, right? I've been fortunate enough to watch games in both Fenway and Busch, and those folks don't just love their baseball. They know their baseball. They live their baseball. DFW is a baseball town, sure. But Boston and St. Louis are baseball neighborhoods, much more passionate and close-knit communities of one. When a big, positive play occurs at Rangers Ballpark, the fans' nights just got better. When it happens in Fenway or Busch, those fans' lives just got better. And, for what it's worth, I don't hate either team enough to invoke Failure Jesus.

   *So does former PGA Tour member-turned-Golf-Chanel-analyst Brandel Chamblee think Tiger Woods is a cheater? Or not? I'm a little confused. He gave Tiger's five-win season a score of "100", yet a grade of "F." Said he got a "little cavalier with the rules" and cited four incidents. But in the wake of creating the controversy, Chamblee both stood by his story and apologized to Woods. How can it be both?

   *As expected, Chris Arnold returned to 105.3 The Fan Monday after a week's suspension for plagiarism. We all make mistakes, but usually they're innocent errors. Not pre-meditated, calculated theft. We accidentally knock the lamp off the nightstand; We don't scheme to steal our neighbor's chandelier. As a writer in this market for 27 years I've been wrong on predictions or breaking news, but never have I blatantly just copy-and-pasted somebody else's work and sold it as my own. Chris' job has survived. But I don't see how his credibility does.

   *I know this is weird, but the best Cowboys' offensive lineman through seven games has been Doug Free. And their best defensive back? Orlando Scandrick. I'd have lost that bet back in August. You?

   *Okay, maybe there is hope for this country after all. Despite some protests from ninny parents who erect statues for the kids when they finish half their morning juice, the Keller Youth Association football league is discontinuing the embarrassing and dangerous act of participation trophies. "Life makes you earn everything you get," the group says, causing anyone who's ever been screwed over by life to stop what they're doing and give a standing ovation. (Stopping. Standing. Clapping.)

   *Hot.

   *Not.

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Friday, October 11, 2013

WHITT'S END: 10.11.13

      Whether you're at the end of your coffee, your day, your week or even your rope, welcome to Whitt's End

   *Have two brothers ever had more disparate seasons in sports? Peyton Manning is on pace for 64 touchdowns. Eli Manning is on pace for 40 interceptions. The latter threw three more in last night's loss to the Bears, which deliciously dropped the Giants to 0-6. Peyton has one pick all year; Eli has eight in the 4th quarter alone. Eli is the first quarterback with 15 INTs through six games since Dan Fouts in '86. He has more pics than a teen-aged girls' Instagram. Just barely off the pace (42 in '62) of record-holder George Blanda, who played so long ago he doubled as his team's kicker. Perhaps Eli should enroll at that famous passing academy that helps quarterbacks? As for separate siblings, only ones that compare to what Peyton/Eli are experiencing are Serena/Venus Williams. While Serena is 73-4 with 10 championships including the French and U.S. Opens, Venus is only 16-10 in '13 with nary a title to her name.

   *Is there anything more deflating in sports than your team being shut out? Last time I checked you have to score to have a chance of winning. But last night - in a decisive Game 5 in their own park - the Oakland A's died sans even a whimper to the Tigers. 3 hits. 0 runs. Zero chance against Justin Verlander, who smothered them out of the playoffs for the second consecutive October. Yu Darvish might be an ace. Justin Verlander is an ace.

   *Rivalry weekend in the Metroplex, one early Saturday morning and one late Sunday night. Give me OU 45, Texas 20 (Art Briles ain't arriving in time) and Cowboys 27, Redskins 24 (No way they lose on Jerry Jones' 71st birthday). If you need to get in the mood, my Top 10 all-time Cowboys-Redskins games are over at NBC 5's Blue Star Blog.

   *Always liked Craig Robinson. His door man "You old, she pregnant" line in Knocked Up remains a laugh-out-loud classic. Now he gets arrested in The Bahamas with pot and 18 ecstasy pills. Always pegged him for a partier. Makes him funnier somehow.

   *House Republicans starting to cave. What a shocker. They've had zero leverage from the start. And I don't say that to poke Republicans. Ignorance knows no political boundaries.

   *Troy Aikman understands the irrational criticism of Tony Romo better than anyone. "I won three Super Bowls and was booed out of Texas Stadium my last year." I was sitting by Aikman at a Mavs' game at Reunion Arena in 2000 when fans booed his image on the scoreboard. He hasn't completed a single pass since then. But if they showed him on JumboJerry Sunday afternoon he'd receive a standing ovation.

   *Hot.

   *Not.

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Wednesday, September 18, 2013

WHITT'S END: 9.18.13

      Whether you're at the end of your coffee, your day, your week or even your rope, welcome to Whitt's End

   *Jason Garrett admits "We haven't run the ball well enough and we haven't ran the ball enough." DeMarco Murray suggests "It's something the coaches are going to have to talk about and discuss." Despite the change to Bill Callahan as play-caller and a supposed shift of emphasis to the running game, Tony Romo has thrown 91 passes through two games (4th-most in the NFL). There are 15 running backs and 1 quarterback with more rushing yards than your Cowboys. At what point does Murray shoulder some of the blame? I detail the problems over at NBC 5's Blue Star Blog.

   *Sure, Rangers. Erupt for seven runs with spot-starter Alexi Ogando on the mound after giving ace Yu Darvish absolutely nada in consecutive 1-0 losses. Any win is a good win - especially when it snaps a seven-game losing streak and bolsters Wild Card hopes. But, seriously, don't you think Yu witnessed all those crooked numbers on the scoreboard and grumbled "What the what?!" under his breath? In Japanese. So, something like ... screw it, I don't know Japanense.

   *Lots of dangers on a football field. Ants aren't supposed to be one of them. Sad.

   *Johnny Goofball has won me over, at least as a football player. Sure he had a couple of throw-it-up-for-grabs lucky completions against Alabama. But it was pure skill and elite athleticism that even put him in a position to be lucky. And in two games against Nick Saban's vaunted defense, Manziel has completed 73% of his passes for 907 yards and seven touchdowns. That's legit. He's a bigger, better Doug Flutie. And that ain't bad.

   *I root against Walter White. He's a bad person who makes careless decisions and profits from putting deadly drugs on the streets. And I root for Will McAvoy. He's a fair person who makes educated decisions and spews truths about being a Republican in 2013:
The problem is now I have to be homophobic. I have to count the number of times people go to church. I have to deny facts and think scientific research is a long con. I have to think poor people are getting a sweet ride. And I have to have such a stunning inferiority complex that I fear education and intellect in the 21st Century. But most of all, the biggest new requirement, really the only requirement, is that I have to hate Democrats. And I have to hate Chris Christie for not spitting on the President when got off Air Force One.
   I know it's chic to get really emotional about A&E's gripping show, but to me The Newsroom > Breaking Bad. Smart and clever beats bold and violent on my TV every time. Even though it was clear Aaron Sorkin's latest episode was written as a series finale - Will proposes to MacKenzie, etc. - I'm thrilled the show will return to HBO for a third season next spring.

   *Hot.

   *Not.

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Wednesday, September 4, 2013

White Truck Wednesday: 9.4.13

   My theory, as most do, began simply as an observation, sparked by an annoyance.
   Driving Metroplex freeways - mainly 75 south from Collin County toward Dallas - I began noticing more and more a certain type of vehicle causing me the most anxiety. The white pickup.
   White trucks riding cars' bumpers, the drivers regularly pounding on their steering wheels for traffic to part for their apparently more important path. White trucks dangerously swerving in and out of congestion, often illegally using the shoulder as their personal passing lane. And white trucks, manned by a single driver, arrogantly and unlawfully using the HOV lane.
   Consider this my weekly ode to white trucks, the most aggressive, dangerous and soulless vehicles on our roadways ...

   Found him!
   The king of our White Truck scurvy. His name is Mike Gietzen. He lives in North Dakota. And he introduces White Trucks into our world.
   Lots and lots of 'em.
   "I've made a lot of money on white," says Gietzen, who sells the dangerous vehicles to oil companies, often dozens at a time.
   Problem is, there are lots of Mike Gietzen's in the world. And in the Metroplex. As I drive the winding country roads to visit dear ol' Mom in Godley there are two prevalent, pesky characters:
   Grasshoppers.
   White trucks.
   Not necessarily in that order.
   Now on to this week's White Truck Wackiness ...

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Wednesday, August 28, 2013

White Truck Wednesday: 8.28.13

   My theory, as most do, began simply as an observation, sparked by an annoyance.
   Driving Metroplex freeways - mainly 75 south from Collin County toward Dallas - I began noticing more and more a certain type of vehicle causing me the most anxiety. The white pickup.
   White trucks riding cars' bumpers, the drivers regularly pounding on their steering wheels for traffic to part for their apparently more important path. White trucks dangerously swerving in and out of congestion, often illegally using the shoulder as their personal passing lane. And white trucks, manned by a single driver, arrogantly and unlawfully using the HOV lane.
   Consider this my weekly ode to white trucks, the most aggressive, dangerous and soulless vehicles on our roadways ...

   Not sure exactly who (or what) Brie Cadman is, but he/she/it is hired. On the spot.
   I get texts and emails and Tweets regularly alerting me to White Truck This or White Truck That. Received a link to Brie's web site last week and an item about vehicles' "tells" totally echoes what I've been chirping about for years.
   According to study at the University of California-Davis, the drivers of white pickups are ... Status-seekers ... Dissatisfied with their lives ... Lower education ...
   Nailed it.
   The full Monty:
   Pickup drivers don't like high-density living situations and are more likely to be dissatisfied with their lives. They tend to be workaholics, have lower education, be full-time employees, have service-related jobs, and be middle-income.
   As for what the color of your vehicle says about you:
   White: status seekers, gregarious
   Black: aggressive personality, rebel
   Silver: cool, calm, may be a loner
   Green: reactive
   Yellow: idealistic
   Blue: introspective, reflective, and cautious
   Red: someone who is full of energy and pizzazz
   Cream: contained and controlled
   I rest my case. Until next week.
   Now on to this week's White Truck Wackiness ...

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Wednesday, August 21, 2013

White Truck Wednesday: 8.21.13

   My theory, as most do, began simply as an observation, sparked by an annoyance.
   Driving Metroplex freeways - mainly 75 south from Collin County toward Dallas - I began noticing more and more a certain type of vehicle causing me the most anxiety. The white pickup.
   White trucks riding cars' bumpers, the drivers regularly pounding on their steering wheels for traffic to part for their apparently more important path. White trucks dangerously swerving in and out of congestion, often illegally using the shoulder as their personal passing lane. And white trucks, manned by a single driver, arrogantly and unlawfully using the HOV lane.
   Consider this my weekly ode to white trucks, the most aggressive, dangerous and soulless vehicles on our roadways ...

   Two "encounters" last week reminded me just how dang lazy we are as humans. And both involved short-cut left turns.
   Whether on foot or behind the wheel, we have no idea to execute this simple change-of-direction maneuver.
   I'm at Lifetime Fitness on 121 in Allen/McKinney. The entrance to the men's locker room is this wonky z-shaped back-and-forth hallway. The unwritten rule - as it is everywhere in our country - is "keep to the right." Right? Nope.
   Almost on a daily basis guys either entering or exiting don't stay to the right, but instead - in an attempt to shorten their path by two steps and shave, what, 3 seconds off their commute? - veer sharply to the left, their left shoulders literally scraping the left wall.
   I'd love to set up a video camera and record the physical contact and collisions. Countless times the guys correctly keeping to the right are interrupted - and often bumped into - by the lazy folks intruding on their personal space. Sometimes I stop in my tracks on the right side, only to have an ignorant short-cutter stare me down while saying "Excuse you."
   It's why we need rules. Lanes. CLUE #4: "Romo's" - Signs. And, in this case, those fabric funnelers they use for airport security lines. To keep the crazies - and the lazies - in check.
   Same goes for you, Mr. White Truck Driver in McKinney last Saturday.
   I'm driving down a road that splits a couple of business parking lots. I have a stop sign, the white truck does not. But that doesn't, however, give him the right to make his left turn onto my road so sharp that I'm forced to hit my brakes to avoid contact, a good 20 feet short of my stop sign.
   To accentuate his ignorance, he gave me "the look," as though I was at fault.
   How about this: Stop fantasizing you're a NASCAR driver and start making proper left turns, swinging out wide enough to the right as to not impede or endanger your fellow man. Is that too much too ask?
   Whether on foot or in a truck, apparently it is indeed.
   On to the White Truck Wednesday wackiness ...

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Wednesday, August 14, 2013

White Truck Wednesday: 8.14.13

   My theory, as most do, began simply as an observation, sparked by an annoyance.
   Driving Metroplex freeways - mainly 75 south from Collin County toward Dallas - I began noticing more and more a certain type of vehicle causing me the most anxiety. The white pickup.
   White trucks riding cars' bumpers, the drivers regularly pounding on their steering wheels for traffic to part for their apparently more important path. White trucks dangerously swerving in and out of congestion, often illegally using the shoulder as their personal passing lane. And white trucks, manned by a single driver, arrogantly and unlawfully using the HOV lane.
   Consider this my weekly ode to white trucks, the most aggressive, dangerous and soulless vehicles on our roadways ...

   My question today is simple, yet two-fold. And, yes, it is directed at the drivers of white pickups:
   1. Why do you extend your right arm across the back of your seat while driving?
   2. What the what with all this backing into parking spaces?
   As you've come to expect, I have a couple theories.
   Putting the arm across the seat isn't an attempt to pretend you usually have a girlfriend beside you. No, that's too easy of an explanation. The truth is that, because you drive a pickup, you fancy yourself as a macho man's man. And because you drive the most invisible vehicle on the road, you have to take drastic measures to gain attention. From your driving to, yes, your driving posture.
   As in, "I'm such a big, burly hunk of a man that even the cab of my big ol' truck can barely contain me. With all this testosterone oozing from my manliness, I've just got to stretch out and take up a lot of room. Hey, look at me being all big and spread out and barely comfortable. Because, ya know, I'm sooooo big."
   No?
   Okay then, try to lay upon me a legit reason for backing into a parking space.
   Women do not do this. Well-adjusted men do not do this. Only insecure males who are also inclined to rest their arm atop an empty seat do this.
   Don't come at me with convenience or some half-baked laws of physics or inertia or somethingorother. It's not easier to back into a parking space than it is to pull forward into one. In fact - if nothing else you have to first drive past the spot you're choosing - it's more difficult. And it's down right rude if you're taking the time to do it while other cars wait.
   And if you think it's so difficult to back out of a parking space, maybe I'd like you to reconsider driving in the first place.
   Admit it, the real reason for backing into a parking space is to get noticed. To stand out. To trick yourself into thinking you're different - and better - than the pip-squeak car next to you. To construct your own personal VIP, because every other aspect of your vanilla life doesn't provide a smidge of special for you.
   So keep on keepin' on, White Truck driver. Continue slinging your burly arm behind the seat while you and your macho vehicle back manly into parking spots.
   But I'm on to you.
   And I'm on to this week's White Truck wackiness ...

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Wednesday, August 7, 2013

White Truck Wednesday: 8.7.13

   My theory, as most do, began simply as an observation, sparked by an annoyance.
   Driving Metroplex freeways - mainly 75 south from Collin County toward Dallas - I began noticing more and more a certain type of vehicle causing me the most anxiety. The white pickup.
   White trucks riding cars' bumpers, the drivers regularly pounding on their steering wheels for traffic to part for their apparently more important path. White trucks dangerously swerving in and out of congestion, often illegally using the shoulder as their personal passing lane. And white trucks, manned by a single driver, arrogantly and unlawfully using the HOV lane.
   Consider this my weekly ode to white trucks, the most aggressive, dangerous and soulless vehicles on our roadways ...
   If, like me, you think you see our roadways littered with White Trucks, you're not crazy.
   Rather, you're astute.
   For the last two years white has been the most popular color for trucks (and cars, for that matter), overtaking silver. And in 2012 pickups accounted for 55 percent of the new vehicles produced in North America. And of those, half of the new pickups were painted white because owners often use them as work trucks and their logos stand out against the pale background.
   White trucks are also cheaper and less distinctive than other vehicles and ... Hello, reinforced theory.
   And now, on to this week's White Truck Wednesday craziness ...

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Wednesday, July 24, 2013

White Truck Wednesday: 7.24.13

   My theory, as most do, began simply as an observation, sparked by an annoyance.
   Driving Metroplex freeways - mainly 75 south from Collin County toward Dallas - I began noticing more and more a certain type of vehicle causing me the most anxiety. The white pickup.
   White trucks riding cars' bumpers, the drivers regularly pounding on their steering wheels for traffic to part for their apparently more important path. White trucks dangerously swerving in and out of congestion, often illegally using the shoulder as their personal passing lane. And white trucks, manned by a single driver, arrogantly and unlawfully using the HOV lane.
   Consider this my weekly ode to white trucks, the most aggressive, dangerous and soulless vehicles on our roadways ...
   Traffic sucks. But you know what's worse than traffic? Traffic caused by construction.
   At this point, I've forgotten what it's like to leave my house in McKinney and hop onto Highway 75 without first navigating closed entrance ramps and detours and rock piles and orange barrels and winding, temporary ramps lined by concrete barriers and littered with potholes left by two-ton construction trucks.
   Since January 2012 I haven't been able to leave or enter my neighborhood without taking a detour.
   This story in Dallas' Only Daily from more than a year ago promised relief by January. January of 2012, that is. Nope. It's now July 2013, and there still is no Eldorado access from the 121/75 interchange and the exit off 75 detours you through the Albertson's parking lot.
   Seriously, it's criminal.
   Frustrated as I get, I feel for businesses along Eldorado. Where I once frequented a Smoothie King, I now steer clear of the construction-congested area.
   But there is good news. The $106 million project is supposed to be completed in July ... of 2015.
   On to this week's White Truck madness ...

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Wednesday, July 17, 2013

White Truck Wednesday: 7.16.13

   My theory, as most do, began simply as an observation, sparked by an annoyance.
   Driving Metroplex freeways - mainly 75 south from Collin County toward Dallas - I began noticing more and more a certain type of vehicle causing me the most anxiety. The white pickup.
   White trucks riding cars' bumpers, the drivers regularly pounding on their steering wheels for traffic to part for their apparently more important path. White trucks dangerously swerving in and out of congestion, often illegally using the shoulder as their personal passing lane. And white trucks, manned by a single driver, arrogantly and unlawfully using the HOV lane.
   Consider this my weekly ode to white trucks, the most aggressive, dangerous and soulless vehicles on our roadways ...
   Toll roads.
   Don't like 'em. Don't really understand 'em.
   But, alas, don't have the stones to avoid 'em.
   I'm a slave to Sam Rayburn Tollway and the North Dallas Tollway and the George Bush Turnpike.
   (Wait, what's the difference in a Tollway and a Turnpike? Some turnpikes, turns out, are free. Toll roads? Duh.)
   When I was a kid I remember the Dallas-Fort Worth Turnpike. It had toll booths near Dallas and Fort Worth but when the tolls paid for the road, presto, booths were removed and it became known as Interstate 30.
   But these days our toll roads pay for themselves, over and over again. Overhead goes down via manned booths being removed, yet prices still go up.
   I don't have a regular job that requires me to drive a toll road on a daily basis, yet my Toll Tag account is still debited to the tune of $80 a month. Of course, as much as I bitch about toll roads, they're still not worse than the traffic, time and headaches on 75, 635 and 35.
   So, like I was saying, I love Toll Roads.
   Now, on to this week's White Truck madness ...

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Wednesday, July 10, 2013

White Truck Wednesday 7.10.13

   My theory, as most do, began simply as an observation, sparked by an annoyance.
   Driving Metroplex freeways - mainly 75 south from Collin County toward Dallas - I began noticing more and more a certain type of vehicle causing me the most anxiety. The white pickup.
   White trucks riding cars' bumpers, the drivers regularly pounding on their steering wheels for traffic to part for their apparently more important path. White trucks dangerously swerving in and out of congestion, often illegally using the shoulder as their personal passing lane. And white trucks, manned by a single driver, arrogantly and unlawfully using the HOV lane.
   Consider this my weekly ode to white trucks, the most aggressive, dangerous and soulless vehicles on our roadways ...
   There is actually good news in area traffic, in that the worst idea in the history of changing directions has been given the death sentence: The Michigan Left Turn.
   Not sure what TMLT attempted to do, but I do frequent the intersection of Legacy-Preston in Plano and was forced to traverse a right turn - and then a U-turn - before continuing on my desired path that should've been accessed via a simple left turn. Though traffic experts said TMLT - which was installed at a cost of $1.8 million in 2010 - was working, residents bitched so much that TMLT has been obliterated.
   Wonder if we can eliminate traffic tickets with a little moaning?
   On to the weekly White Truck wildness ...

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Wednesday, June 26, 2013

White Truck Wednesday

   My theory, as most do, simply began as an observation, sparked by an annoyance.
   Driving Metrpolex freeways - mainly 75 south from Collin County toward Dallas - I began noticing more and more a certain type of vehicle causing me the most anxiety. The white pickup.
   Had to be a couple of coincidences, but nothing more. Right?
   Wrong. White trucks riding cars' bumpers, the drivers regularly pounding on their steering wheels for traffic to part for their apparently more important path. White trucks dangerously swerving in and out of congestion, often illegally using the shoulder as their personal passing lane. White trucks, manned by a single driver, arrogantly using the HOV lane
   I hatched my White Truck Theory after a drive on the George Bush Tollway in 2008.

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