Whether you're at the end of your rope or merely the end of your week, welcome to Whitt's End
*Disneyland coming to Texas has been a rumor longer than the one about that giant swarm of killer bees migrating to the Metroplex. And with the Cowboys planting roots in Frisco, the urban legend has been re-booted. Or is fake after all? I'm told by some astute real-estate folks that Disney is again sniffing around the land along Dallas Parkway all the way up near 380. I was at that intersection yesterday and it'd be the perfect spot. And to piggyback America's theme park with the headquarters of America's Team ... maybe it's too good to be true.
*Those people bouncing into the office today, passing out free donuts and high-fives? They have Peyton Manning on their Fantasy Football teams. Seven touchdown passes, 0 interceptions in Denver's season-opening romp over the defending Ravens Thursday night. No Cowboys' quarterback has ever thrown seven. Or six. A bunch have had five-touchdown games including Eddie LeBaron, Don Meredith, Craig Morton, Danny White, Troy Aikman and Tony Romo. Nope, Roger Staubach never threw more than four.
*After losing two of three to the A's, the Rangers' lead in the AL West has gone the way of Lamar Odom's value - poof. And it only gets tougher. After going a month with games against losing teams, Texas plays opponents with +.500 records 13 consecutive games starting with the Pirates on Monday. Oakland, meanwhile, has only three games left against a winning team, and that's when it visits Arlington next weekend.
*Of course, a year ago today we thought the Rangers were in great shape. On Sept. 6, 2012,
they led the A's by 5.5 games before ... well, you know the rest.
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Johnny Goofball is on the cover of TIME magazine this week under a headline that screams for universities to start paying its athletes. (But, wait, if he didn't take any money for signing autographs why is this idea being brought up again? Wink.) Can't tell you what a horrible idea this is. Athletes are already paid. Their paychecks are called scholarships. Now, take away their free housing, books and classes and we'll talk. But paying athletes will reduce their motivation of going to class. And even if it's legal to pay players, you don't think some schools are going to break those rules and push those limits? Paying players will create more problems than it will solve.
*I can be a fun man. But I am not a smart man. The latter was on full display last weekend at a pool party in which I thought it would be a good idea to do shots of tequila while getting zapped by a dog's shock collar, then capping it off with a game of beer pong substituting Crown Royal Black. I'm just now recovered.
*We all know the Giants are 4-0 in Arlington. But if the Cowboys are to start 1-0 Sunday Night at AT&T Stadium they'll have to buck another long-term trend. In the last 14 years they've started a season with a win at home just once ... in '07 against the Giants.
*There are only four receivers in NFL history with at least 200 catches, 2,500 yards and 25 touchdowns in their first three seasons: Jerry Rice. Randy Moss. Andre Rison. And ... yep, Dez Bryant.
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Hot.
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Not.
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*President Obama says he didn't draw a red line, the world did. Then, um, why isn't "the world" helping us police the violence in Syria? The answer is because no other country has the audacity to tell another country what is and what isn't an acceptable form of killing its own people.
America has as many gun deaths as the rest of the world combined. And, oopsy, we launched a couple drone strikes on civilians. But poison gas,
that we won't stand for!
*I know Yu Darvish doesn't get a lot of run support, but this is why he won't win AL Cy Young: He's coughed up late-inning, two-run leads in six of his 27 starts, and against the A's he's 0-3 with a 5.29 ERA.
*The impressive debut of Florida State freshman quarterback "Famous" Jameis Winston came with lots of local plot lines. The Rangers drafted the kid last year in the 15th round. And Mack Brown missed out on him. Joining Andrew Luck, Robert Griffin III and Johnny Manziel, Winston wanted to be a Longhorn but was never offered a chance to play quarterback in Austin. Says Famous Jameis, "If I'd gotten an offer from Texas I'd be going to Texas right now." Hook 'em?
*Ya know, for such a prolific receiver - five 110+ catch seasons in the last six years - Wes Welker doesn't have great hands. He dropped a pass and a punt last night. And we all remember his critical drop of a Tom Brady pass in Super Bowl 46.
*Sounds crazy, but give me Tony Romo over Joe Flacco. The Super Bowl MVP doesn't create positive plays with his legs and he's just not that accurate with his arm. Obviously Romo authors more negative plays with his mind, but I think the Cowboys would be a 5-11 team with Flacco instead of 8-8 with No. 9.
*I know it's blasphemy to criticize Mariano Rivera. But the Yankees' closer who gets standing ovations in opponents' parks is suddenly having a crappy farewell tour. He suffered his sixth blown save of the season last night in a loss to the Red Sox. By comparison, Rangers' closer Joe Nathan has blown only two, going 38 of 40.
*Of the Cowboys' final 53-man roster, only 23 are draft choices. I don't have the facts to back this up, but that's gotta be ridiculously low. Right?
*Is there anything more automatic and boring than the kickoff at Mile High Stadium? There were 14 of 'em Thursday night, resulting in 14 touchbacks.
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*I like electronica music. I like dance music. One of my favorite satellite radio stations is Electric Area (XM 52). But, sorry, I do not get the fascination with Daft Punk. Saw them on MTV's
Video Music Awards last week and they're just two dudes dressed up as robots, who presented an award without saying a single word. And their music is just ... irritating. Their latest hit (a collaboration with something called Panda Bear) is "Doin' It Right" and - I swear - the start of the song just repeats the same simpleton, shallow line 26 times via computerized, digitized voices. I thought "
Around The World" was mindless, until I heard "
Everybody will be dancing ... and be doin' it right." Over. And over. And over again. And over some more.
*In case you missed our monthly radio ratings report, it's
right here. Fan fans, hide your eyes. It ain't pretty.
*From the Dept. of "It Pays to Be Smokin' Hot":
A woman kidnapped in downtown Dallas was rescued in Kauffman. How? Two teens ogling her at a stoplight saw her mouth "Help me" and called 911. Very cool. Now go put on some makeup! Ya know, just in case.
*I'm by no means a good swimmer, but I'm also not that impressed with 64-year-old Diana Nyad's swim from Cuba to Florida on her fifth attempt over 35 years. I guess it was like Roy McAvoy's shot over the water in
Tin Cup. Cool, but severely diluted because it took so many tries. Perfection > Perseverance.
*Asked on The Ticket Thursday morning about his Cowboys' prediction, Troy Aikman said they could win "ten" games. Awesome! Or "six" games. Awful! Wait, what the what?! Love Aikman, but I don't quite understand his appeal on TV. His opinions are too "I kinda sorta think" watered-down and his takes are too often fence-riding. Like that one. It's cheap to predict 10-6, or 6-10. Of course, that way he's never wrong. Whether the Cowboys make the playoffs or not, he saw it coming.
*Next time you start your tired old rant about "that greedy bastard Jerry Jones has priced us common folks out of going to games ...", just stop.
The Cowboys do not have the most expensive tickets in the NFL. And, really, it's not even close. Bears' fans are paying an average of $172 more per ticket than you. Pretty sure AT&T Stadium's $75 parking is among the most expensive though.
*I really missed Jon Stewart and his
Daily Show over the summer.
*Cowboys are 1-8 in their last nine games on NBC's
Sunday Night Football. DeMarcus Ware will be one of the 13 NFL players you see in NBC's open. And, remember, Faith Hill has been replaced by
Carrie Underwood. Happy slobbering.
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*If you're not busy Saturday night - or if you simply like hot women, free pizza and cool T-Shirts - it's this here blog's
official Launch Party at Baby Dolls Dallas. Be there or be square.
*Not surprised that Andy Murray lost in the U.S. Open quarterfinals. I know he's the defending champion in New York and at Wimbledon, but the guy doesn't have a singular weapon. Worse, he has the worst body language of any champion I've ever seen. Sorry,
Monday Night Football, but I'll be glued to the expected Nadal-Djokovich prime-time final over Eagles-Redskins.
*America is officially dumb. We're spending our time watching
Duck Dynasty and playing some iPhone game called Candy Crush. (Number of minutes I've spent doing either: 0.) If it's not bad enough that the reality show about bearded billionaires was cable TV's most-watched show again last week, then how about the fact that Candy Crush is making $850,000 ...
per day!
*Good news this morning:
Dallas police have arrested 29-year-old Alan Mason of Dallas in connection with the serial rapes of nine women in the Fair Park area.
*My new NBC 5 TV buddy Pat Doney has a great, exclusive feature on a Cowboys' assistant coach who has overcome serious health problems. It's worth staying up for after the game Sunday night.
*Hey you, the jerk. It is
not cool to be in a single line of cars all merging left because of a sign that says "Right Lane Closed Ahead. Merge Left", but instead jump out to right, pass about 20 cars and then put on your left signal and "pretend" to have somehow not known the lane was ending. You'll pass 20 cars. But you're daring karma. And you're a jerk.
*If you , like me, think the only thing better than the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders is the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders in bikinis, you probably want to tune in to the Season 8 premiere of
CMT's Making the Team.
*Toldja Tim Tebow would be cut by the Patriots. Seriously, can we finally stop adoring him as God's special messenger/anointed leader? He's just a good guy and a great college football player, who had one of the luckiest month-long runs of any quarterback in NFL history. His 15 minutes are up. To all the folks like Bill Simmons and R.J. Choppy who incessantly Tweeted "Teeeeeeeboooooooowwwwww!" as he'd "lead" the Broncos to another 9-6 win back in 2011, how's this taste? "Cuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuutttttttttttttttttttttttt!"
*This weekend: Tomorrow morning is tennis, followed Saturday night by our Launch Party. And the next day, of course, we kick-off 22 consecutive Sundays of NFL, capped by Sunday night's Cowboys-Giants. Don't be a stranger.
