Don't sweat the small stuff.
Especially if it's an 8-pound, 6-ounce bundle of someone else's joy. In fact, the new fresh Prince of Cambridge is only third in line to the throne of England. Or something.
Really, who cares?
It's England. Pretty sure we bailed on those blokes and then fought a revolutionary war to keep our independence from the stuffy saps. Now, for some reason, we're concerned - even consumed - by a new twig on their outdated Monarchy form of government's family tree?
Andy Murray winning Wimbledon? Yes. Phil Mickelson rallying to win The British Open? Interested. Last summer's London Olympics? Riveting.
But Prince William and Duchess Kate presenting their nameless baby for our entertainment? No thanks. Seriously, I'd rather watch the Kansas City Royals than the English royals.
But I think I know what this is. Remember those extremely-overweight-and-irrationally-romantic women who dreamed of being scooped up into a life of luxury in
Officer and a Gentlemen and who spend all day keeping up with The Kardashians because at least their lives are a smidge interesting? Yeah, those same females are at work here, again misplacing their fascination.
Of course, men aren't immune to wasting time on frivolous interests. Take it from a guy who last week participated in a fantasy golf draft. I know.
Combine our silly sexes and it's easy to come up with 10 really dumb things we worry about way too much ...
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10. The Joneses - Not Jerry and Stephen and the Cowboys' Monarchy. But rather the ones you try to keep up with, whether it's your neighbor or family or rival. We often are so wrapped up in what we need to get that we forget to enjoy what we already have.
9. Abortion - It's not your body, your baby or your situation. Worry about your own stuff.
8. Hair - If we took every dollar spent on hair care (shampoo, coloring, styling, wigs, transplants) in America in just 2012 ($21 billion) we could end world hunger. Today. But then we wouldn't look as pretty, so
nooo way.
7. NFL Draft - Most over-hyped sporting non-event annually transfixes us for a month, then delivers as many busts as bangs. Right, JaMarcus Russell?
6. Money - Life shouldn't be about who makes the most, but rather who has the most fun spending their pile.
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5. Royal Family - Should it really matter who might control England's weird-ass Monarchy in 50 years?
4. Fantasy Sports - Please stop telling us who's on your team. Nobody cares.
3. Fashion - Can't believe how many of us dress not the way we want, but so our peers will approve. If you wanna wear white shorts after Labor Day or long sleeves in August, do it. Fashion police be damned.
2. Mars - Don't care if there might be water up there. I'm more concerned with our lake levels down here.
1. JFK Assassination - He's dead. And he ain't coming back.
